Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Friday, January 30, 2015

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Post 1st, Find Out The Idea's Already Taken 2nd

I also think there should be a social connection website called friendzone.com for people who want to connect with the perfect people for each other who aren't interested in that kind of relationship.

Update: well, the post title's half right. The name's taken, as in, the web address, but it isn't that kind of site at all! It's one of those deals where he's like, hey, I put my reputation on the line for you, unlike those bullshit others. I've never even been in the friendzone. Try my system get the girl!

He makes a pretty convincing sales pitch, for a guy who doesn't seem to have mastered punctuation, capitalization or, well, typing. Maybe those skills are too girly for him! He's making a display of his virile indifference. Which is cool, if so. If not, perhaps what he needs is a friend to help him out.

It's a shame I have no place to put my site. It could help him and others out of fixes like this.

Friday, January 09, 2015

Point.

A lot of people hate me. But I don't care - as long as they're white. That way, I know it's on merit.

Racism makes me furious.

So. The Bible, Right?

I hope it's OK to be honest about this. I mean - I'm not Roger Ebert, God rest his so-called soul, but I feel like it's okay for anybody to offer their take on things. The Bible is - I refuse to be misunderstood on this point - great. It's not just one of my favorite books, technically, it's several of them. But published as it is, and referred to as it popularly is - "The Good Book" - I feel justified somewhat to consider the whole schmear as one work. One book. I think sometimes you have to. Judging as a whole, as it were, on overall merit! And let's not mince words, here: whoa. In terms of overall merits...I don't believe I'd be exaggerating to say this book's got 'em over all.

The ending sucked.

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

I know, I know, somebody is going to come out of the woodwork, yelling foul and telling me I "just didn't understand it." Sorry. That's possibly dead-on accurate a lot of the time, but here...walk with me on this. See if mine feels like a familiar journey to you.

As our story opens, as the lights come up on the premise - it's a knockout. There's never been anything like this. It's completely original, without precedent, beyond parallel. However you want to put it, it would be almost impossible to overstate the case, here. It's a grabber.

Then, as your characters begin to develop, as the stage is set, as conflicts arise and come in waves it just gets better and better. Not happier! For goodness sake, this is drama and by no means comedy. There are agonies in store, breathtaking reversals and stupefying cliffhangers, but the narrative thread pulls through strong and sure.

You don't doubt for a second you're in the hands of a master storyteller, and not only that - a true artist, capable of mixing textures and techniques like crazy, flowing from origin stories to heroic fails to violence to strife, to disaster movie stuff, and next you have collections of sayings flying in from one side, erotic verse from another, poetry, prose, didactics - and somehow, through all the pastiche, through all the collage, that subtle thread pulls you forward, unbroken. It's uncanny - and I don't think your modern-day critics give it the credit it deserves. In terms of groundbreaking. In terms of practically originating this kind of mix-and-match grab-bag deal (yet pulled into a unified artistic statement) that everyone was gasping at and fawning over when dada and cubism and all that business came pushing in crowding classicism right offstage.

Make no mistake: the Bible is the work of a very creative, powerful voice. It is the first modernist work in literature's canon. It's where it all began.

And I can't even emphasize how beautifully it begins to bring things home. The whole thing changes to beautiful. There's still sad, pain, agony even, but the garden from chapter one is ultimately - restored. And the monsters and marching armies of hatred, the genocide that went-hand-in-hand with the promise of the promised land..! Guys, face it: these are complex, non-cut-and-dried themes, here.

It's a masterwork. A very underrated masterwork of surpassing subtlety and complexity, especially when you consider the first parts were taken down by, basically, cavemen. And the woe and the fall and the struggle and call and the pounding of drums and all the blood and fire and brimstone that is built up, in the momentum of the story, somehow - not "reverses." It doesn't reverse. It's redeemed, it's fulfilled, it's as if the first part was only a thrilling and spine-tingling, heart-jarring dress rehearsal of a stage-setter, and then comes...the play. And there's so much passion in it, but the passion is not for blood and suffering and vengeance. It's a totally different twist on the plot, right in the thick of the flow, and yet - somehow, it feels inevitable. Perfect. Preordained.

And you sit there, and you can't dispute at this point how good this movie is going. So to speak - it's not a movie! I do not in any way trivialize the virtues of this work. I don't think you can.

It's suddenly pulled together into something where you can feel everything is going to end, beautifully. And you won't mind the end, though you know when you put it down, you're going to wish you were still living forever that same story!

But the best stories leave you enriched, and rewarded, and you walk on with that confidence and love in your heart. You lay it down, and move on, and the end is not sad. Because you know that beyond the end, this story has changed your life.

It's like opening up the newspaper, and there's some almost incomprehensible good news on there. You never could have guessed it, and yet it's everything you needed to hear! And what the hey, you couldn't have even deserved all that. All you did was show up. But you know you're in the hands of a storyteller. One who has you, in the palm of the proverbial hand, and you don't yet know where it's going but - all fear is gone.

AND THEN THAT ENDING!!!! WHAT IN THE WHOLE WIDE SWEET GREEN SAKE OF PETE WAS THAT...?!

I'm not the one to judge, here, I recognize. But that whole last part...again, I need to go to the movie comparison. Did you ever see a really great movie, where the setup is great, and the story great all the way through, and it's just - it's already like, climbing your list of favorite movies and it's not even over yet. But you just know. You don't care how it's going to go, because you've been won over already. That storyteller's "got you," and you can't even believe there's any way they're going to let you go! And then suddenly they clap on some big loud special-effects calamity of a "climax," as if it was just some action movie signifying nothing, to be capped by the obligatory firefight? Letdown city!

The better the story was going, the more you were sure it was turning out wonderfully - the worse that letdown is. The ending on this one...if I didn't know better, I'd say the producers overruled the director on this one, but obviously that's in no way a credible theory here. Still, that's pretty much just how it comes off. It's like somebody said "let's slap the whole thing back about twenty books' worth of chapters and undo all that richness and development! We need to go out on the mental and emotional level of Judges."

Don't twist my words, here. Judges is great - it's about my favorite book in the bunch, and you know that's true because how many times have I said it? I don't give another answer on that one, it's pretty well cemented. Judges is a killer read, a first-class roller-coaster ride. It's got popcorn blockbuster written all over it, and if it were cinema, it would've been the original superbad action movie franchise! Once again, way ahead of its time, artistically. Heck, it's something like eleven sequels in before the acknowledged geek-cred universal fan favorite Sampson comes along! Yet every one of those "prequel" judges was pretty bad ass, and could hold down their own movie no problem. Given decent adaptation, casting, execution of course. That's a constant.

I don't know, I'm not sure I really have any real coherent point, here, but when that ending hit...I just thought it was going some other way. What a surprise. If I were doing the novelization - wait a sec, this assumes a scenario where I'd been given the blessing of the original author, for this!

Which is not infrequent: top authors know their finished work already stands forever, pure and original and undiminished by later interpretations. A lot of the time people need to take stories with a different twist to suit all times, just look at the Shakespeare plays with people clomping around in leather jackets like Fonzie. A top author doesn't sweat a few twists in the transition as long as it keeps the spirit. That new, different-medium work can (indeed, always will) have its different angles coming in. Despite the hollering and foaming at the mouth that you always get when the movie version changes somebody's haircut, your all-time greatest authors don't tend to hold every trivial turn of phrase and plot development so all-fired sacred - in case you hadn't noticed.

In case you hadn't noticed, they just don't. The first-class creator, the original voice, will often have confidence in the permanent, incontrovertible worth of their work. Sad to say, it's the fans who don't. The die-hard super-strict fans, ironically, are practically always the worst philistines in any author's audience.

But still I couldn't change a thing myself, without that authorial stamp. Forget it. When it comes to a work I already love in the utmost (twists, turns and all), I wouldn't dare novelize it or cinematize it at all, not without the blessing of the author. I mean...come on. That'd be kind of gauche, to say nothing of egotistical.

But as I'm saying, if I were doing the novelization I think I'd just leave that last part off. End it on a contemplative fadeout note. You know?

I understand we're talking a difference of tastes, here. I get it that I'm probably (at least a smidge!) one of those Euro-film art snob wannabe fans, all extolling found light, naturalistic dialogue and a no-music soundtrack - except what music and songs occur in the actual plot, of course! Salome, Solomon, what have you. But the point is: yeah. I "get" that I'm probably a bit more into the artsy junk, so-called. And so I have to acknowledge, this is a book that was written, quite literally, for everyone. And for a book like this, that's exactly right. So my prissy little I'm-a-critic,-darling! stance cuts no ice, here. Some bombast, some "Star Wars" theme, some sweep and grandeur and thrills, chills, and spills, plenty of explosions - all that is right in order, and entirely called for. My critique, here - it's a quibble at best anyhow. And: who should care what I think? I hope you shouldn't. You'd be the one off-base on that one.

But somewhere, I bet mah man Roger Ebert may very well have an opinion on this. I wonder if I'll ever get to ask him? Awesome!!

Okay, wait, now I'm all psyched again. There's no denying, this is more than "a" good book. It's the definite article.

I should probably go back and read it again. I mean, I thought The Shadow crapped out too on first viewing! Meanwhile, nowadays I can watch it a million times and I don't even remember what I was complaining about. Sometimes all it takes is to come back to it later, maybe from a position of more maturity. Hopefully. What do you guys think?

Thursday, January 08, 2015

Thought of the Day: Enlightenment is a Cliche


"All attachment is attachment to suffering."

- some wannabe buddhist poser