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The Positive Thought Process #4: The Importance of Metaphorical Condiments

on October 05, 2009

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When life gives you a shit sandwich, use a lot of mustard.

Mustard works a hell of a lot better than mayonnaise.

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Ask The Internet #7: "Hey Mister Big Bucks! What did you do, rob a bank?"

Doesn't that ring a bell for anybody else? I swear, it's from a movie or a commercial or an infomercial or something! It's driving me crazy. Google let me down on this one.

Five perfect movies: L.A. Confidential because of how saucy and scuzzy, burly and swank it does its bright-lit noir ensemble gray morality heroics bit. So many redemption arcs trying to happen at once, half of them crash and burn each other right off the record. Great…shoot. Everything. Rolo Tamasi. Run Lola Run (called Lola Rennt ) because if you’re going to tell a sweetly impossible love story three times with different courses and endings, you might as well intercut the pillow talk scenes to tie the whole thing together. Bitte, Manni! Casablanca because I am a huge sucker for a film about people who are huge suckers, for love, for each other, yet canny idealists of incomprehensibly selfless will given half a chance. The fact poor Ingrid Bergman didn’t know during shooting who she was going to end up with seems cruel as life. These are in no particular order. It’s not a ranking. 12 Monkeys. Look. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but sometimes Gilliam is at his best bringing his wei...

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