This is another edition of "Funny Clickbait Headlines Critiqued," right here on Consider Your Ass Kicked!
5. "Free Bird." This is the song I hack out on guitar if people are requesting cover tunes. See, I can't hack cover tunes, so I wrote a song called "Free Bird." It's like, "Went into the pet shop, boy, laid my heart on loan. Walked out with parakeet," something something. It's a buy one get one deal, basically: FREE BIRD. Can't beat that with a birdcage.
4. "Hey Now." This is a Crowded House song. The chords are a bitch to finger smoothly, and that trademark "Maori strum" Neil Finn walks down all through it is as smooth as it gets. "Hey now, hey now, don't HIT THAT CHORD LIKE THAT, man-hannn,"
3. "You Wanna Be Startin' Something." This is just a straight-up earworm. Mamma say mamma sa mah mah coo sah.
2. & 1.
Let's leave both top spots open, pending whether I read and/or agree with the clickbait article at some point.
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