Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Saturday, October 05, 2013

skit b. "Overreacts in Ringing Tones of Oratory to Sulphurous Odor in the Washroom after Too Much Dungeons & Dragons Playing as a Paladin the Night Before (Age 12)"


"A stench of brimstone."

"Why, I fear some foul majick has transpired! Some loathsome spell-ceremony, of finding, or binding, or conjuration, or dwimmering, may hast been enacted in this seeming-foul chamber! The signs are plain to be smelt upin mine nostrils!"

Pause, ostensibly for effect.

"Oh woe! That should such diabolical rite mayhaps hath been enacted to the detriment or besmirchment even of some blameless, innocent, captured captive virgin's very virginity! As hast been oftimes aforetimes seen, in such lamentable cases! Wherever the dark, black, eldritch taint and trace of an occult hand hast been betrayed into the light - oh, bright bastions of goodness and pure light, let it not be so that it hath been so here!"

"Mercy, I cry! Dear kindness, have mercy and spare us the stain of demon doings! Spare us the blot and splurt of devilish ichors and the hideous spectacle of be-horned, be-fanged monstrosities sporting upon the nether hind buttocks and other unspeakable tender parts of our poor and defenseless innocent virgins! WON'T SOME ONE THINK OF THE VIRGINS??"

At or about this point I began to get my ass kicked by the dude who'd created the stink in question. Now considering he was one of my stalwart crew of adventurers, you'd think he could have simply played along but no - he had to break character.

An undisciplined hack, that guy. Some barbarian, can't even take a little ribbing about smelly yet otherwise perfectly ordinary and unshameful bodily matters. Either that or maybe he was a virgin, and thought I was kidding him on that topic. Hm.

I'd say it's a pretty safe bet that we were both virgins. So, unlikely that was the source of ire.

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