Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Saturday, July 22, 2006

The Hegemony of the Young pt.1

When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be old. I remember standing on the asphalt yard during Recess, working out in my head just how many YEARS it was going to be before I could finally stop going to school. It was going to be almost 11 more years.

I was either just starting 2nd grade at the time, or counting wrong.

Whatever the actual year was, it was already clear to me by then that adulthood was where it's at. Adulthood. Grown-up. You could eat ice cream at any time; nobody could tell you otherwise. You would be able to look anyone right in the eye and tell them just what you think, without them saying "oh, isn't he so cute to say that! What a little man!"

People would say from time to time, oh, treasure these carefree days, outside in the sun, playing with toys, no responsibilities - you're going to look back on it and miss being a kid! They didn't say that in response to anything I said on the topic. No, people just naturally seemed to volunteer that shit.

I wasn't buying it. It was quite clear to me that a grown man who wasn't a complete wuss could still play with toys if that's what he really wanted to do. You call your own shots as an adult. You might take on some additional voluntary responsibilities, sure. That's your shot to call. And you'll probably be gently coerced into sacrificing some of your time towards putting a paycheck together now and then. That's understandable, the world doesn't owe anybody a living. But apart from that, you're on your own say-so! And you can do what you want.

That was always my impression, as a child. I enjoyed my childhood, I had fun with it and with growing up and learning things, but I was so bored at the limitations. I wanted to be a grown-up.

I have to say, I haven't been disappointed. Adulthood is everything I expected it could be. I do from time to time have some regrets. Sometimes I wish I made the time to do more - accomplish more, on a personal level. Paint some canvasses. Write more songs. Not that I haven't written enough songs already, that nobody's using. But the backlog of unwritten songs in my lyric book and tape-recorder is really starting to pile up, to the point where it's oppressing me.

But that's all extracurricular stuff anyway. No one relies on me for that. Some days I'm equally satisfied if I can put together a really virtuoso nap! And because I hold down a job, because I put in the time and effort it takes to do a damn good job, I feel pretty good about paying my social obligations. I feel pretty good about having the rest of my time to myself, and what I do with it.

Adulthood rules.

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