I was driving back from Los Angeles, when my eye was suddenly caught by a distinctive vehicle tearing towards me in the rear view mirror at a great rate of speed.
The ACLU Van!
I had never seen the ACLU Van. It was impressive. A brand-new white van with dark blue trim and those famous letters sharply-emblazoned in dark blue. As they came up behind me, it was clear they had a serious engine under that hood. They were closing the gap with alacrity!
I wondered what their urgent errand could be. Was this the ACLU Rapid-Response Unit? Or perhaps the super-secret "Enforcement Arm," masquerading undercover as the Rapid-Response Unit. There was no way to tell for sure. I only knew that somewhere, someone's civil liberties had been violated or were in serious danger of being violated, and these brave men and/or women were racing to the scene to set the wrong things right. I had someplace to get to myself, but as they swooped around and past me, I couldn't help what I was compelled to do. I wrenched into the lane after them, and tried to close the gap as best I could. This was important, this was history and I had to be in on it!
Then suddenly I noticed that it was in fact the UCLA Van.
What the heck do they need a van for?
4 comments:
Yeah, but! That stuff lacks the same sense of urgency and lofty purpose. Except maybe #2.
The University of Hawaii should rent a U-Hula.
It's like the day I was tearing along the George Washington Parkway in Virginia and a marked police cruiser, with lights and everything, went by me, causing me a shiver of fear (since I was going slightly over the posted limit. And by Slightly, I mean a lot). But then I noticed emblazoned on the side was "U.S. Postal Police." And I realized I was afraid for nothing. I mean, what was he going to do? Pull me over and write me a letter?
That's pretty great, that's Steven Wright-worthy. And that's pretty high praise, coming from a big Steven Wright fan. Big enough to take the time and look his name up so I could spell it v instead of ph. Had it been Steven King, I might not have done that. No offense, Mr. King.
Post a Comment