I bet it ends up being something embarrassing

Now I've got this stupid song stuck in my head. Well, not a song, really...the intro to a song. Normally if I have part of an unknown song stuck in my head, I can just keep unspooling it until I get to the part I can recognize. In fact, just the other day (on a long walk), I listened to the first 6 tracks of Def Leppard's Hysteria, entirely from memory. But this one is stuck on the intro. It won't unspool. I've got just a few bars of the very beginning: a couple boom-thumping drum beats ("BOOM -thump- BOOM BOOM"), then what sounds like a skittering guitar with some effects on it, very synth-sounding (possibly not a guitar at all, could be a straight-up synthesized riff): "dweer-ni-ih dwaar-ni-ih dwiih-na-ih-na-ih-ah, dweer-ni-ih dwaar-ni-ih dwiih-na-ih-na-ih-ah..."

Like that. At first I thought, who is this? It's jaunty! It sounds very 80s. Listen to that drum sound! Is it something from one of New Order's post-2000 albums? That guitar, I'd swear that was Johnny Marr playing. Could it be Electronic? Is it mid-period The The? Then again, maybe it isn't Johnny Marr at all. Could it be actual 80s rather than just a latter-day facsimile? I wonder if it could be the Fixx. Or even Bowie? But it sounds too upbeat somehow. Almost like the Miami Vice theme or something.

Then I started to worry that it wasn't a real song, but part of a score to a movie I'd seen enough times for it to stick. How was I supposed to track that down? I tried to mimic the sound to different people using various vocal methods. I drew a series of blanks.

Then I began worrying that the sound of it is changing, the more I try to figure out what it is. I'm no longer certain that it's the same exact riff stuck in my head. People are telling me, "that doesn't sound like how you did it before. Are you sure this is a real song?" That's a little insulting, frankly. But even I have to ask myself that, because, I'm not entirely sure anymore.

I bet when I finally figure out what it is, it's something really stupid. But at least I will know! It will be worth it to know. To quote the shot guy lying in front of the bank when Dirty Harry finishes his little speech and starts to walk away, hey mister, "I gots to know!"

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