dogimo: I'm here today with Sal Dinaldo, prominent embattled local businessman and co-owner of...
Dinaldo: Owner, not co-owner. I took that f___er's name off the papers. He doesn't work for me any more, he never did an honest day of work in his life in the first place! It's "owner."
dogimo: Owner it is. In any case, Mr. Dinaldo, you...
Dinaldo: Please. Call me Sal.
dogimo: Sal it is. Sal, everyone knows that over the past six months, you've become embroiled in a very high-profile...
Sal: Shut up! Next question!
dogimo: ...
Sal: Are we done here? Are you wasting my time?
dogimo: Sorry, sorry. Over the past decade, and prior to the events of the past six months, you've...
Sal: ...which we are not f___ing talking about...
dogimo: ...shot to considerable prominence as one of the greatest success stories on the local and greater tri-county area business scene. To what do you attribute your remarkable successes?
Sal: Well, it's quality f___ing service. That's our landmark, that's our guarantee. When it comes to quality service, we don't just know we're the best, we are the best. Nobody can tell me about my service, because I am there every day, personally, in the trenches. I set the f___ing tone myself. Just the other day, some customer comes to me with a f___ing ridiculous story that clearly never happened. I told him, "Get Out! Leave my store! That's not the way we do service around here." What is that anyway, a joke? You go someplace else if you want to tell your filthy f___ing lies. My people are my gold, I don't allow anyone to say that.
dogimo: Don't you think...
Sal: Let me finish here.
dogimo: Sorry.
Sal: This whole problem that's developed, that's the whole problem right there. People nowadays just don't seem to understand that the relationship between the customer, and the quality service we provide, it can be highly personalized. If that customer is loyal, a good customer, we reward our customers for that. There are discounts, there are incentives. There's a mutual reward system, that has to be looked at in a very unique way. An affectionate, loyal customer is a prize that I value very highly.
dogimo: Well, sure.
Sal: It only stands to reason. For example, just for example, if an attractive customer decides on her own accord that she wants to give me a b___j_b, I value that very highly. That's a valuable customer! It's only fair that I would give that customer 10% off. There's nothing underhanded about any of that. But you have to have a coupon. I always give a coupon. You can't come in with no coupon, claiming you did what you did, demand 10%. Where's your coupon?
dogimo: It's a reasonable question.
Sal: Look, I am probably in trouble with my lawyer just for even saying that, but to me, that should go without saying. That shouldn't even be a question.
dogimo: But in this particular claim...
Sal: That's not even being discussed! I never discussed that. My above remarks were as a purely hypothetical stance, such that anyone would find reasonable. With the individual in question, she never gave me any b___j_b!...yet claimed to! Where was her coupon? I always give a coupon. I intend to prove as a fact that it was my ex-co-owner and no-good twin brother Bobby. That cheap b_____d never gives a coupon.
dogimo: Wow.
Sal: I cannot stand the slanders, but my lawyer would say I've said too much just by defending my good name.
dogimo: Yeah, but what does he know?
Sal: You shut your face. He's a very expensive lawyer, he knows more than you do.
dogimo: Good point. Listen, I'd like to talk about some of the exciting promotions you have in the works for the big Fall/Winter season. Can you tell me a little about this whole "America First!" promotion?
Sal: Exciting is exactly the word. We're trying to turn a bad thing into a good thing here by getting the word out about what makes us #1 in quality and value. Publicity is bad, if it's bad, as the saying goes. But you can always use good publicity.
dogimo: I think you're on to something there. Let's take a break and when we come back...accentuate the positive.
Sal: I appreciate that very much.
-END OF PART 1-
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