So I was trying to record this particular television commercial (the reason why doesn't matter), and it seemed to be airing on CNN, so I popped in a tape and recorded a few hours. What I got as a bonus was Clay Aiken being interviewed by Larry King Live.
Under some pretty persistent questioning from Mr. Live, Mr. Aiken inspired me with his principled stance of refusal to answer any questions about his sexual orientation. I think that Michael Stipe previously also inspired me in this same exact way. I would like to kudo both these fine men, and I encourage other celebrities to follow their uncompromisingly ambiguous example. That sort of thing is just none of America's business.
The thing that struck me most forcefully about Mr. Aiken was his new haircut. He now eerily resembles James Spader (as if it were possible to resemble James Spader in any way other than eerily!). Obviously, he makes a younger and more callow James Spader. It's weird, because prior to this haircut, and facially in general, I wouldn't have thought that the two looked a thing alike. Yet with this floppy mop of locks all but tousling itself above, the face below takes on a wholly different aspect; an aspect at once more assured and strikingly Spaderesque. Even Aiken's facial expressions are now redolent of that coyly sinister vibe that Spader oozes so smoothly. The goofy speaking voice and that accent now come across as a facade, a put-on, and underneath...something far steelier than we'd ever previously suspected. Something potentially unspeakable, yet...dangerously beguiling.
If Clay Aiken can act at all (I don't know. Can he?) I want him cast right now in a fictional biography of James Spader's life, an epic that paints Spader's rise to sordid prominence as one scandalous, orgiastic, debauched episode after another - as if Spader's real life had out-Caligula'd everything in any of his films. I suppose Spader himself should be involved in some capacity. Perhaps he could contribute a few true tales, to be woven into the narrative. If he'd be so inclined.
The other rather shocking thing was that I recorded this long hours ago, and the news programs that were airing after the Larry King Live show are now repeating. But they're not just running the same stories...they're repeating the same exact newscast! The anchor is saying things like, "It's almost noon in North Korea..." or "Right now, dawn is breaking and the curfew is being lifted over this Iraqi city..."! And these are the same exact times that were stated before, at least
CNN has lost all of their credibility on this one. You heard it here first. I caught them with their pants down and their underwear brown.
This has been a remarkably focused blog entry, I must say. Oh yeah! While I'm talking about Clay Aiken, may I say that that "If I was invisible" song...the lyrics to the refrain in that thing...speaking of creepy, speaking of James Spader, those lyrics are so creepy that they ought to make that song into a James Spader movie. And in retrospect, thinking of that song, this burgeoning resemblance really shouldn't come as such a surprise.
That's about it. I do want to make it clear that I love James Spader though. He's the James Spaderiest!
4 comments:
If you think "Invisible" is creepy you should listen to Sting's "Every Breath You Take". Clay's song is sweet and yearning for love compared to that.
Chexxxy, I don't mean it insultingly. But you must realize that if you have to compare it to that song to make it seem sweet, then you must know how creepy it really is. After all, Sting and The Police have been very up-front about "Every Breath You Take," right from the start! That song is meant to be creepy. It was written to be creepy. Sting has said that a thousand times. The song is about an obsessive and unhealthy attachment.
The fact that people in general took it to be a sweet or romantic song is a tribute to how well The Police put their point across. They tell it from the viewpoint of the obsessively-smitten stalker - and to a person like that, their attachment is always something monumental and romantic, something pure.
But as I'm saying, to claim that Clay's song is sweet in comparison to a song that is deliberately creepy, ain't saying much. "Invisible" is deeply creepy by any standard. He wants to be invisible, so he can watch you in you room! Then he wants to be invincible, so he can "make you mine tonight." He wants special powers so that he can force himself on others romantically.
At least the character in "Every Breath You Take" confines himself to "watching you"!
But there can be no question that both songs are "yearning for love."
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>First of all, I am going to come out right now and I'm going to tell you very unambiguously that I am not bisexual.
I notice this denial follows on the heels of your review of Captain Marvel's mode of dress and hairstyle vs. Superman's. I'm not saying it means anything, just that I notice it.
Well, when I said Captain Marvel's cape was gay, I just meant that it was a very light-hearted and whimsical cape. It seemed to me more to be making sport of the very idea of a cape!
In general though, there's nothing more butch than superheroes. Big, beefy dudes kicking ass for justice in brightly colored skin-tight leotards!
Not that that is any kind of endorsement of vigilante-style justice! Can you imagine how much trouble you could get in trying to pull a stunt like that? Thank God people in the real world seem to have a little better sense that that.
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