Christianity encompasses four central mysteries. There is the Incarnation, there is the Redemption, there is the Resurrection, and there is the Final Judgment. In today's installment, we will be examining what makes a perfect burger so perfect.
A perfect burger needs to be thick - but not too thick. It should be juicy as well - but not too juicy. The bun should be soft but dense, able to stand up to the juices without getting soggy or falling apart. Seeds on the bun or a toasted bun are optional.
Toppings should consist of (top-to-bottom): one crisp leaf of fresh lettuce, one fat beefy slice of a Jersey-Fresh tomato, and one thin cross-section of an onion - with every other ring removed. Condiments should be limited to ketchup, which should be poured directly onto the onion - so that the ketchup gets into the onion gaps, and the ketchup and onion can really commingle flavors.
Underneath that goes the patty. The thing that everyone seems to forget these days is that - I don't care how rare or how well you want it on the inside - the surface of that burger must be charred. Not burnt. Charred. That's where a good 60% of your flavor comes from - those little charred bits.
Mmmmm-m. That's what I call a perfect burger! What do you mean, cheese? That wouldn't be a perfect burger! That would be a perfect cheeseburger.
NOTE: for ease of assembly, do not attempt to assemble the burger top-to-bottom as described above. Instead, put it together in reverse order - starting with the bottom bun, patty on top, onion (ketchup on top), tomato, lettuce, top bun! If you really, absolutely must employ mayonnaise, or mustard, or both - the place for those condiments is on the bottom bun. Spread the mayo on first, then the mustard. Your burger will no longer be a perfect one, but I suppose you know what you're getting into.
5 comments:
Where do I put the avocado and alfalfa sprouts?
To the side. You put them to the side.
I should have mentioned, if you are melting a slice of cheese on that thick beef patty (if you simply must), then do like this: when you put the burger on the bun, put it cheese-side down. This is for several reasons:
1. There is a really nice interaction between the ketchup-soaked onion and the beef, and that slice of impermeable cheese is only going to screw it that up.
2. All the action is already in-between the top bun and the patty. Might as well get something going on in the bottom-bun zone. The cheese will melt nicely into the bread, welding beef and bun together in a pleasantly cheesy way.
Plus. For those who like the cheese, cheese-side down puts it closer to the tongue!
dogi, this stuff is golden.
Thanks, Lacrème! Can I call you 'Lacrème'?
You know, you're the only one who calls me 'dogi.'
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