I Assume. So?

You know what happens when you assume, don't you? Sure you do. When you assume, you accept a proposition as true without proof or demonstration.

It's a little bit like what happens when you suppose, or when you presume, only then it wouldn't make such a funny little explanation on Barney Miller or whatever dumbass sitcom that was, where it seemed so funny and clever, to make an "ASS" out of "U" and "ME."

But let me ask U something. If U assume...how does that make an ASS out of ME?

I'm willing to go to bat for the word "assume," and say that it doesn't even make an ASS out of U. It's pretty sad, really. We have at least a couple of generations of adults now, who profess never to assume anything, purely on those grounds. They wish not to make an "ASS" out of "U" and "ME." While I call that mighty considerate of them, they're really just making asses of themselves with the claim that they don't assume. They assume plenty. They assume all the live-long day.

Assumptions cannot be avoided. Everyone builds their daily routine almost entirely upon assumptions. We act and plan based on what we assume will happen - all sorts of things that, upon examination, are clearly beyond our direct control.

Those of us who drive down the street assume that other cars will obey traffic laws. Oh sure, we're all very alert with it. We tell ourselves that if the other guy runs a stoplight we can pull out a slick maneuver, but come on. Really. When you're driving at night, watching a row of onrushing headlights whiz past you on the other side of the road, with nothing between you but two lines of paint on the blacktop - you are dead, if one of those pairs of headlights drifts over into your lane. You assume they won't. You know such things happen, but you assume they won't.

When you go out to eat at a nice restaurant, you assume you won't end up with a case of deadly food poisoning. Such things happen, but you assume it won't happen to you. If you have a love, you assume he or she won't cheat on you. In the absence of evidence to the contrary, you assume.

There's nothing wrong with, certainly nothing stupid or asinine about making assumptions. You just have to be aware of the assumptions you make, and you have to be willing to test and examine them. You can't close your eyes to evidence that contradicts your assumptions, but neither can you function without assumptions. It would not be possible to live a normal life, without acting upon the presumed truth of a thousand little assumptions that one's life will continue normally as it has done (which generally, it does).

Everyone assumes, and it doesn't generally make an ass out of anyone. It's when you presume too much, that you make an ass out of yourself!

But I suppose you already knew that.

Comments

Magna said…
I'm curious: what proof do people have that to assume makes an ass out of anyone? Are they just inferring it on the basis of limited anecdotal evidence and speculation?
dogimo said…
It was on an episode of The Odd Couple.

That's it. That's the proof.

Asinine.