We Need to Eliminate "Nudity" Entirely

When a warning pops up on something you're about to watch, and it says something like, "graphic violence, nudity, strong sexual language, adult situations" etc etc - what the heck are we supposed to expect by that "nudity"? Some guy's balls??

I'd hate to sit through the whole thing just to get that. They need to get a lot more specific, if the warning is to have any value whatsoever. I have two proposals. Either:

1. There should be two separate words for male nudity and female nudity. I don't care what they are. You could go with "nudihe" and "nudishe" for all I care (although, I for one would like to think we could do a lot better than that - nudity and dudeity, perhaps?). But with a more specific, gendered approach, the viewer will be more adequately warned as to what they can expect to get!

2. Alternately, why not just itemize everything? "Warning: this presentation contains graphic violence, strong adult language, explicit situations, and at least one instance of each of the following: tits, ass, ass (male), wang, and cho-cha."

Now with a warning like that - you've been adequately warned! Am I right?

I admit, it is true to some degree that such a level of detail might ruin the suspense involved in watching any quality film. But at a certain point, you have to draw a line in the sand and say: what's the point of a warning if it doesn't let you know what to expect? It's about giving the scrupulous viewer what he or she needs to protect his or her own personal sense of decency. I think that's a reasonable thing to ask.

Comments

blue said…
What the heck's a cho-cha?
dogimo said…
Oh my.

Um...if you know all the others, use the process of elimination!
Cassie said…
I think blogs should post warnings such as: "Warning: this presentation contains strong adult language consisting of at least one instance of each of the following: tits, ass, wang, and cho-cha."
dogimo said…
Well hold on there, Cassie - that's exactly my point. The title of my post proclaims "Nudity"! Yet that doesn't really set you up at all, for the specifics of what is to be contained therein!

See? See?

"QUO VADIS!!!" I mean, Quid pro quo. Quo something.

Oh, I'll look it up.

Sorry, turns out it's "Q.E.D." not "QUO VADIS."

Q.E.D.!!!!!

Putting that at the end, it just looks smarter.