Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Not Talking To ANYONE

So there's this guy who works in my office. He's a sweet-tempered guy, seems pretty harmless, but he's got this habit.

I'm not even sure it's a habit. It could be a disease for all I know. It could be something like a variant of Tourette's Syndrome! Anyway, he'll be working at his desk - I can't see him because his computer's in the way of his head - but I can hear him. On the phone, or typing something, or shuffling papers. Just minding his business, doing his job.

And then, periodically throughout the day, he will be busy with something non-verbal and I will hear him - not talking to ANYONE. Saying these really random things. To nobody. He will be speaking in a fairly quiet tone, but still - a normal speaking voice. Easily audible. Not even under his breath, really!

At some point I decided to start jotting these little pronouncements down, keeping a list of them. Just for educational purposes. Here, I present that list to you. See what you think.

NOTE: He sometimes includes his own name in these utterances, so in the interest of protecting the potentially mentally ill I will substitute the fictitious name "Keith Gupper" for his actual name:

"I'm Keith Gupper."

"L.A.P.D. I love it out here!"

"I hate scientists."

"Hi, Keith, how's it going."

"10-4 I'm gone!"

"Kill womennnnn...."

"I'm who I wanna be!"

"What's up there, coach?"

"I hate my job at this place!"

"welll-l-l-l...whaddya gonna do. I don't want to get married!"

"I hate school!"

"I love my dad."

"Time to kick my ass, hm?"

"Well hi, hello there! Quarterback of the Miami Dolphins, ladies and gentlemen. Isn't he something!"

"Rock n' roll's coming back."

"one two three four...one two three four...one two three...[long pause]...four."

"My mom's assistant."

"I hate giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrllls!"

"Kill yer mommmmmmmmmm-uh!" (this was very drawn out and emphatic)

"I have a daughter, I have two daughters right now. I have two daughters." [long pause] "I meant QUARTERS"

There were also a few times he'd mumble a bit, garble his remarks. And so I couldn't really be sure of these...but it sounded like:

"I'm a SCIENTIST of high ideals!!"

"Susan likes to use her psychology..."

"I got married...to a real bitch."

"I love working here...I miss girls though!"

Hey, I don't really know the guy. He keeps pretty much to himself. He seems to read a lot of paperbacks. He seems like a decent, hard-working individual. I don't think he's ever even been late for work!

Is any of this a bad sign, do you think?

2 comments:

wee lad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wee lad said...

you should definitely watch your back around that cat...not a good sign...