A while ago, my friend Jerome was out rabidly job-hunting, interviewing at any number of companies - pounding the pavement, surfing the sites and circling the situations vacant. It was to his considerable consternation that, during this period of high-intensity job-searching, he received the below e-mail in his In-Box. The worst part was, the sender didn't even identify what company they were sending from! It was just a hotmail address with no reference to a company. How messed up is that?!
--Actual E-Mail Message Received During That Troubled Time--
From: Tchad Swoohey
Sent: Friday, Sep 01, 2006 2:40 PM
To: Jerome S_____
Subject: Jerome S_____ Interview/Employment Status (REJECTION)
Mister S_____!
We rejoice to inform you that your application for employment has been utterly rejected, as we deem you to be entirely unsuitable as a candidate for employment at our company! Your many personal flaws are obvious to us after only a brief meeting, and frankly it is a wonder to us that you saw fit to present yourself to us in such a deplorable fashion! The reason for our delay in so informing you is that we seriously considered contacting the police - but decided that in view of your miserable state of existence, we would let you off with a warning: do not call us and do not fax us! Do not ever darken the doors of our facility again! Seek employment elsewhere, or better yet, be more realistic and embrace your inevitable fate: a long, slow, agonizing slide into bum-dom!
Yours,
With cheerful regrets,
Tchad Swoohey
Deputy Director of Personnel Resources
--End of Actual E-Mail Received During That Troubled Time--
Later on Jerome and I were watching a football game with some of our buddies, and I confessed to Jerome that it was in fact I who sent the e-mail. Everybody had a good laugh on that one.
2 comments:
I once had a friend who was rejected for a job at the Baltimore Sun for which he had not applied. He had applied, equally unsucessfully, for a job some years earlier. Apparently they felt the need to make damned sure he got the message with the new job.
I suggested he write them a letter saying:
Dear Sirs,
We have received your rejection letter and we regret to inform you that we do not currently have an application that meets your criteria. We will, however, keep your rejection letter on file and we will let you know when future applications arise.
That's pretty funny!
They must have a "rejected but with potential" file, where they keep your application in case a future opening opens up for which you'd be more suitably suited.
Then when they began considering apps for the new position that opened up, they added his "on file" app to the "consider" pile. When it came time to send out rejections they mixed up what was what.
You tell me I'm wrong! There's no other way how stuff like that happens.
The rejection rejection would still be a crucial move in such a situation.
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