Advanced Negotiating Tips #J: The Accidental Head-butt

The Accidental Head-butt is a key weapon in my arsenal of negotiating tricks. I suppose I should say rather, "negotiating techniques" - since when you have head-butted someone, you haven't "tricked" them, exactly. It's more like you've assaulted them. This, however, is where the "accidental" part comes in!

There are several ways to camouflage your head-butt so as to make it seem plausibly "accidental." The simplest methods are best, and timing is everything. Keep these tips in mind, when planning your move to perfection:

• Discussions should be at a fairly high emotional pitch, and you should make sure to "set the stage" well prior to your head-butt by gesturing in a fairly animated fashion, leaning forward excitedly to make a point, etc. You can't just come out of nowhere with a head-butt after sitting there like a statue the whole time.

• You must be seated or positioned close enough to your quarry that some incidental contact will seem like a reasonable possibility, after the fact. There's no point in even attempting the move if it means bridging a wide gap of space with a spastic head-first lunge.

• BE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE*. You should appear to be making an important point, which you then have to interrupt: "Oh! I'm sorry! Pardon me. Hey, are you alright?" This charade makes it seem all the more plausible that the devastating collision of skulls was merely an unfortunate accident. Because, why would you interrupt your own important point? IMPORTANT: NEVER head-butt the other party in the middle of their sentence. This is too easy to spot, and if spotted, it will come off like a desperation move. NOTE: be in the middle of a sentence, yes - but do NOT suddenly raise your voice dramatically at the very moment of the head-butt! That's a real tip-off. The vocal control can be tricky, but you will be able to master it with a bit of practice. Which brings us to our final point:

• Know how to head-butt. Do not even attempt, unless you already know how to deliver an effective, non-accidental head-butt. Proper form is essential to avoid injury, but you need more than just proper form here. This isn't a street-fight, it's a negotiation. You need an easy and comfortable familiarity with the move, to be able to pull it off all nonchalant. If you're a head-butt neophyte, forget about the Accidental Head-butt until you get some serious training in. Otherwise you're going to hurt yourself, and end up weakening your position instead of claiming dominance.

Warning: under no circumstances should you attempt to deploy the Accidental Head-butt during phone-conference negotiation. It will not be effective, and you may disconnect the call.