Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Do You Want a SHITTY JOB with LESS PAY?

...or would you rather wait around forever for that PERFECT JOB to come along?

Let's be honest. Be honest with yourself, at least! Because you're not fooling us, anyway. We here at the Underemployment Center of America know you're never going to find that perfect job. How do we know that? Because it isn't out there. Or if it was, somebody else nabbed it already and they're not giving it up.

However, we can help place you in job after job making less than you deserve - far more easily than you would have ever thought possible! Sick of being underappreciated and underpaid at your current job? Tell them to "stuff it"! Then come on over and feel the queasy sense of freedom as you walk through our doors. We will have you placed in a new job that is as bad or worse than your old job, within 48 hours - GUARANTEED! - or we'll give you your old job back!

Just kidding. We can't give your old job back. You told them to "stuff it" remember?

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