If You're Goin' to VEGAS!

Be careful, baby. Vegas is the place where dreams are made to be broken, where good people dress their best and hope to impress, but end up slipping in the glitz and glitter that lines the gutters of this Oz-like neon Babylon. They try to get up again, only to fall sacrificed upon the altars of this temple of exalted sin. In the end, they discover that the glow of green in this emerald city is from the envy that lines men's eyes - at the sight of greenbacks, slipping through their fingers while they tell themselves lies, lies, lies.

Don't fall into that trap! Strapped to fortune's wheel as Lady Luck gives you a spin, picking your pockets while you whirl in circles. Go see a show instead! Enjoy a free buffet. Or perhaps move to a more spiritual urge, as you search out the First Church of St. Vegas to hear a fiery sermon from a born-again reverend Elvis impersonator.

Vegas has so many attractions, distractions and wonderful sights to see. Dizzy yourself with all the wonders of a city planned specifically for your delight! But mind your step. Don't slip, or a thousand besuited suitors will catch you by the arm and chaperone you down a lane paved with bitter tears and fool's gold dust.

So I've heard anyway.