I tried to cheat on my girlfriend. I stole her answer key and memorized the sequences of Trues and Falses. But she must have known, because on the day of the test she switched up all the questions! So I failed, and it taught me a great lesson to pass on.
Remember folks: cheaters never win, and winners never quit, and quitters never cheat. So if you're planning to cheat, just be ready to cheat for the rest of your life, you cheater! Because you can't quit on it now! Once you've elected to cheat your way down that primrose path! Cheaters never quit cheating!
Ultimately, it is the cheaters of the world who cheat the winners of their clean victories, because even though the cheaters never win, the fact that their cheating is going on in the background makes the whole thing seem disreputable somehow. And then the jaded crowds point at the proud winner standing on the dais and grumble, "yeah, he won alright - I bet he probably cheated to do it!" Despite the clear contradiction! And the poor winner, spirit broken by the risibly libelous accusations of the press and public, kind of stands there with his shoulders slumped, frowning, with a bitter lump in his once-proud throat. Well I say, this backbiting meanspirited vicious suspiciousness is baseless and asinine! And I refuse to countenance it, on the basis of the one sweet pure fact that these fools seem to have overlooked:
Cheaters NEVER win.
Case closed. End of story.
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