The Car Bra.

Ok, I think I'm not being facetious there. I believe that's what they actually call those things. A bra. That's that...thing, that you put on the front of your car. To protect it from dings from flying rocks, or flying whatever other debris.

So. Here's a tip for you, jackass: if you want one of those car bras, go ahead, get one. But don't put it on. There's no reason to disfigure your fucking Camaro prematurely, by stretching a gigantic trash bag across the front of it. Right? Here's what you do instead: wait for one of those hypothetical pebbles to actually fly up, ricochet off your paint job and make an undetectable scratch.

THEN you put it on. You could go for YEARS, maybe the ENTIRE LIFE OF THE CAR, without having to resort to that ugly-ass thing. And as soon as you put it on, BOO YAH! You're no worse off than you would have been, if you'd been driving around like an idiot that whole time! People will be just as impressed: "Wow, look at that guy. He's protecting his car by making the front of it look like a fake leather sofa."

I mean, am I missing something on this one? Maybe these are just for if you're really into tan lines, so much so that you want your car to have one.

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