Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Friday, January 11, 2008

Love This Life. Don't wait 'til the next one comes.

I FUCKING LOVE LIFE. It's so precious to me. I can't even tell any of you how precious. I love my family and my girlfriend, and my job. I love my job in the abstract. I love the good work that I know I could do, if they ever fucking hire any support for me. I love life. I love life so much. I have to take a moment to reaffirm all of this, because for a moment today - a brief moment, my mind wandered and I suddenly realized I was considering suicide. I have never, ever before ever done that, as far as I know. Not really.

Now, calm down. I wasn't planning anything. It wasn't an urge, really. It was more a consideration. An abstract, dispassionate consideration. But that's the GATEWAY, though, RIGHT?! Back me up on that! First you're all "oh, let's consider this in the abstract" and then next, you're registering for a skydiving class. And I have to say, FUCK THAT NOISE!! I will NEVER commit suicide! NEVAH!!! What, over a JOB??!!! FUCK that! Quit the JOB first, don't quit LIFE. But anyway, I can't quit or kill myself yet, because I've got way too much shit I have to finish first. I'm not leaving people in the lurch. That's not my style.

So anyway, I just wanted to put that out there. So you know. If my body turns up, I was FUCKING MURDERED!!!!!!!!!

But my girlfriend didn't do it.

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