Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Friday, May 02, 2008

Why Actresses Should Be Forced To Do Nude Scenes

I've got a theory about what it is that causes an itch. I was trying to look it up online. I did a cursory search. No luck. I was trying to pinpoint the physiological mechanism by which an itch is born, and I couldn't - which sucks because I wanted very much to verify my hunch! Maybe a neurophysiologist amongst my loyal readership might weigh in to back me up on this one.

Here's what I think: I think that first, something causes the capillaries to tighten up, restricting the tiny blood flow next to the tiny tiny nerve, whatever. Some sort of minor inflammation or swelling, probably not even visible to the nude eye. The nerve in charge of itching feels the pinch: Hey, why's my blood flow getting cut? The nerve sends out the signal to scratch. Now, the nerve here is thinking, "what's with the blood restriction? What I need here is some big ol' fingernails digging into the region, stirring things up. Maybe a smack n' scratch - kill the bug first, then scratch the itch! The slap alone will feel pretty good. Shoot, I don't even know if it is a bug. I can't see! I'm only a poor little nerve. Nobody ever asked me my opinion on anything, nobody wants to know what I thought of The Bourne Supremacy."

The particular nerve in the example is a bit high-strung. Most nerves are.

Anyway, that's what the nerve is thinking, and a lot of the time the itch gets scratched, the blood gets moving, and everybody's happy. Itch signal assuaged. But when there's a RASH involved, the scratching stimulates more swelling, leading to more constriction, leading to more itch and more intense itch.

That's gotta be it, right? I mean, it seems so obvious. That's gotta be the why of it.

Back me up on this one, neurophysiologists!

1 comment:

dogimo said...

What the hell, neurophysiologists. Leaving me hanging, here. What did I ask the wrong guys? Some other specialization term maybe.

Guys can be gender inclusive.