Look: this is something that's really going to shake a lot of people up, and change the face of our nation's highways and byways and a lot of people's lifestyles, but there's a serious danger here and I can't shut up about it: there's just no way that motorcycles can possibly work. It's not physically possible. Look, I'll lay it out for you.
First, what's holding them up? How is it possible for a motorcycle to not just topple over? Yeah, I know that when they're at the traffic light the motorcyclist is holding it steady with his feet (or her feet of course - but it would be really hard for her to reach, from up on that little passenger seat back there. Did you know the French call that little seat a pillion? I love that! We call it a "bitch seat," which is frankly just plain déclassé). But then as soon as the light turns green, the feet go up so what's holding it up then? It wouldn't even be possible for him to use his feet once the bike's in motion - real life is not Fred Flintstone! And don't anybody tell me that the speed of the bike is what's holding it up. That's just silly, if that were the case it would just make the bike crash faster.
Okay, secondly, some might posit some force or something that is holding the bike up. People, this isn't Star Wars OK? Let's keep it within the realm of science.
Another popular claim is that it's the wind rushing by on both sides of the biker - that's what holds him up. It provides lift, just like the wind rushing by under the wing of an airplane. Well there's two problems with that: #1, that only works if you're laid out horizontal, right? Like the airplane's wing, right, smart guy? Because if you think about it, the lift involved only pushes in one direction - up! Not two. Otherwise the plane would CRASH. And problem #2, think about the terrific amounts of lift being generated there - enough to hoist an airplane! If that kind of power was being brought to bear on a motorcycle, that amount of lift - it wouldn't keep the motorcylist STEADY! - it would yank him and his bike right off the road and PITCH THEM INTO THE SEA! Come on! We're talking tens of thousands of foot-pounds of lift per square inch. This isn't "Mythbusters" okay? Again I remind you, we have to deal with science here. Science! Science is what we have to deal with. That's all we have really, to go on. Science. Let's stick with that, please. Keep it on-point. Science.
Now, at this point, some of you at some point might be saying to yourself: hey...this guy's right. But if there's no way motorcycles can work without falling over, why don't they fall over?
Well first, good job realizing I'm right. Not a lot of people can make that claim, it shows a real mental distinction on your part. And second, VERY GOOD QUESTION. And the answer is where the implications get scary.
Here's where it gets insidious.
Basically there is a certain factor or element in science or medicine that they call either "the power of prayer" or "placebo power." It's when somebody doesn't know any better, but because they think something is going to work, it works. It's a pretty awesome demonstration on the power of the human mind on one hand, but on the other hand, when the truth comes out - as it ALWAYS DOES - that person dies. So for this very good reason, doctors are very down on the power of prayer.
But the truth is bound to come out in this instance, too. Because it is that same ignorance of physical law, that same rank placeboism, that's what's holding up all these bikes. These motorcyclists don't know any better, and they expect it's going to work, and so it does. But they're in for a crash! Because the truth is going to come out! Therefore I have to be the bird of warning on this one, I have to make people aware of the danger they're in - bikes toppling over all around them, crashing at high speed - it's like some apocalypse movie...! I mean think about it: some big bad biker dude, probably an atheist - when this guy realizes that faith is the only thing holding his bike up, what's going to happen? Of course he'll crash. It's inevitable.
And bees can't fly either. It's aerodynamically ridiculous to claim otherwise.
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