Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Special Guest Shot #6: Legendary Director Ken Moess

dogimo: Well, I'm here today privileged to be talking with one of the greats. A maverick Hollywood and more recently, independent filmmaker well-known for his in-your-face style, his ability to confront, occasionally insult, and always challenge the filmmaking community and sometimes, the audience. Renowned director Ken Moess.

Ken Moess: ...

dogimo: First off, let me ask you - the pronunciation on your last name. For years I always heard people pronounce it "Moss" but it seems now that -

Ken Moess: "Moe-ess." That's how it's pronounced. For a long time, and before that, growing up, I pronounced it like my father had been doing - you know, to fit in. Make it easy on people. He was a weak man. But that's not exactly my style is it?

dogimo: I guess not! For example, the last 3 movies you were attached to - all big successes, one of them a blockbuster by most standards...

Ken Moess: By any standard.

dogimo: ...but you were fired from each, very early in the production. Replaced by other directors.

Ken Moess: In the old days I guess people were more willing to put up with my shit. But it's clear I still have the stuff, the vision. Just look at the results - even stolen, you can tell whose movie it really is.

dogimo: Well, surely the significant changes -

Ken Moess: Surely don't matter! It doesn't make a squat damn of difference, I still consider those my films. I'm the one planted the seed. I don't care how many times you pump that b____ afterwards, when the kid pops out it's going to have my eyes.

dogimo: That's...okay. Could we have a bit more family-style style of metaphor going forward? That's a bit strong, around here.

Ken Moess: Cut the crap with me, sonny, that's more family-style than anything! Kids popping out - come on. That's as family-style as it gets.

dogimo: True enough, I suppose...my mistake. So what's next on your plate? You seem to have established yourself pretty firmly in the world of independent cinema.

Ken Moess: Well, I'm trying to. Bad timing maybe - all the studios pulling out, shutting down their artsy wings, investors taking a dump - the glamour's taken some hits lately. I waited too long. But when I look at it now, this move to the independent side couldn't come soon enough. For God's sake, I was so sick of being hired to direct shitty stories that had to be gimmicked up with all kinds of high-concept bullshit grafted on, just to justify shellacking the screen with the six figures of CGI work that the modern popcorn audience demands. Epic these days equals bullshit. I wanted to tell simple, cutting, daring human stories.

dogimo: Sounds good! So whatcha got?

Ken Moess: ... well, actually this next project is a bad example of that. But the screenplay was too good to pass up. It's an epic, but with intimate-scale details, a respectable budget but it's all going into the real physical production - not into a lot of inflated superstar vanity paychecks and CGI. There's going to be no CGI at all in this one. We're taking our effects from the old school.

dogimo: What's it called?

Ken Moess: Well, it's a satire. It's called Jesus Christ Vs. King Kong - but the story is from this brilliant new screenwriter who just pulls out elements of the ancient world that you can't even imagine, uses them to skewer all aspects of our entire modern sensibility. Except it's not a zany goof! It's a thrilling and serious adventure story on one level - but with this whole other level of intellectual gloss on it that's just a riot, once you see where it's going.

dogimo: That sounds like a really awful idea.

Ken Moess: It does! I know, but there's a kernel there of something and I know exactly what to do with it. The finished film, in my mind, is already a masterpiece.

dogimo: Well I for one am willing to take your word on that. If you've shown us one thing over your career, it's that top-notch direction can take an awful idea and make it shine as bright as a good one!

Ken Moess: You're fucking-a right I have, you little shit! Trying to be funny? What's your fucking legacy? This interview is over.

...

dogimo: Well that was a short one for you today, folks. Sorry about that. Did it sound like a good movie idea to you guys? Wait, he's coming back.

~END OF PART 1~

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