Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Baloney and Related Baloney

God, I just craved a baloney sandwich. What a weird deal.

It wouldn't be on Wonder Bread, though. I didn't mess with that stuff as a kid. It would be Pepperidge Farm white bread. With mayo on one slice, and with one slice of baloney. Two slices of baloney is just disgusting in my book. Too thick, baloney-wise! Baloney is not tavern ham. You can't just stuff those bread slices with a thick wedge of it and bite in. Eeeeg.

Speaking of which, what is the origin of the phrase "best thing since sliced bread"? Are there not a ton of things to come along in recent decades that you would rate well above sliced bread? Let alone "best thing since"! I think what needs to be done here is, let's cut it out with the needless vagaries. Let's get a firm date agreed-upon for the accepted historical debut of sliced bread. Then, let's take a look at what other things have come along, either at that time or since. I have a pretty good hunch there will be plenty of things that you'd say beat hell out of sliced bread! And if that's the case, the idea of "best thing since" becomes a wee leetle bit moot.

Ooh, that last part looks like I'm speaking Dutch!

2 comments:

jul said...

For some reason when I was pregnant I wanted baloney on white bread with butter and mustard...

If you can't figure out why you're craving baloney, maybe you should take a pregnancy test.

By the way, is the right way to spell it? If not, that's how it should be spelled.

dogimo said...

Baloney? Sure. They also spell it bologna, but I don't think the Bolognese are particularly keen on perpetuating the association.

I'm not sure I was craving baloney so much as a baloney sandwich. I wouldn't have wanted a slice of the naked lunchmeat. And in general, I think baloney is kind of...uh...not what I want. But I guess there must be something ineffable about a baloney sandwich. Something primal, leftover from the deeps and eddies of my childhood subconscious.