The universe was created because God was a big Dallas Cowboys fan (not just a big Dallas Cowboys fan - an infinite Dallas Cowboys fan!), and God in God's infinite wisdom decided that the best way to enjoy the Dallas Cowboys would be to create a universe that would stand as the grand backdrop to their epic struggle.
Of course God could have created the Dallas Cowboys directly to heaven, and shortcut the need for the whole process! In fact, this was tried. But after that first game (a lopsided victory over the Steelers), a big fight broke out in heaven between original Cowboy's QB Archie St. Michael and impetuous Steelers QB Lucifer "Lucy" Satane. Things just weren't right after that.
At that point God decided that maybe there needed to be a whole universe, just to contain all of the power and the drama.
3 comments:
I will not...these are women, human beings with souls and aspirations and I will say nothing tawdry about them if I can help it, but...the cheerleaders in the NFL don't have the innocent appeal that (when I was in school) cheerleaders used to have. They all seem more like...
BUT! I won't say that!
Dancers? Of a specific sort.
And I don't mean Lambada: The Forbidden Dance.
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