Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Sunday, September 07, 2008

The Origin of the Universe Is The Future!

The universe was created by Science. That's right! In the future.

It was an accident. A cataclysm of such incredible proportions that merely to try to describe it boggles the mind. Sometime late in the year 4022, scientists working to unlock the secret of an infinitely-powerful renewable energy resource will goof badly. Their test-firing of the experimental device will send a quantum rent shuddering infinitely through the very fabric of reality, creating infinite rips in reality itself - rips in-between each of the atoms of the universe - releasing such an unthinkable amount of energy that the force of the blast can't be contained within spacetime. The resulting explosion is so vast, and the speed of the energies released is so great - many, many times the speed of light! - that the energies themselves are catapulted back through time, way back, all the way back, to just before the very beginning of eternity. As they pass that exact point, their energy is still enormous, but their speed is spent somewhat - such that they can again emerge into the timestream.

This furious release of nigh-infinite energy, catapulted billions of years back into the past from thousands of years in the future, is what we today call the Big Bang. And now you know the truth: it was caused by us! And it will be again. And it will be again.

The ol' "closed time loop."

But I've got an idea how we can prevent it. More on that in the next installment.

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