Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Monday, October 20, 2008

Do You Ever Miss Me?

When you lie awake at night, clutching the bed sheets soaked with sweat...when your eyes fly open at a sudden sound, your mind shot shock awake wondering "is it HE? Has he RETURNED??"

Do you ever miss me?

When you find yourself finding yourself lost, rudderlessly adrift, compassless and compassionless in a trackless domain of featureless days and weeks?

Do you miss me then?

When you burst suddenly into tears while watching a puppy commercial, because it was the same puppy commercial I always thought was so cute?

Does your heart keeping finding its way back to us?

Do you see me on the street and then follow from a discreet distance of several blocks? Do you hang back as I venture alone into a curiosity shop and reemerge with a paper sack? Does it rouse your curiosity? What's in the bag, pal?

Does it tear your heart?

When your hand grasps vaguely in the direction where I used to be, seeking my hand, seeking the solace of a warm and familiar caress which will never now again be forthcoming?

Or do you not miss me at all?

Have you hardened your heart against my memory, saying to yourself "that jerk! He was in many ways my social and intellectual inferior."

Do you not miss me at all?

Do you see me on the street, looking over my shoulder, waiting, hoping perhaps for someone to follow me at a discreet distance so I can confound their curiosity with that infernal bag of mine? Do you laugh scornfully and walk the other way, saying "damn him and his bag! I need neither!"

Do you never miss me?

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I would totally have told you what's in the bag, if only you had asked! It was only a meaningless doodad, such as is displayed for sale in many a curiosity shop. What the heck were you following me for anyway?!

Actually, I'm not sure that was you. It looked a little like you. But kind of far off, hard to tell.

Anyway, that's why I was asking: do you ever miss me?

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