LOTTERY RESULTS IN!! STUNNING NEWS!!!

SACRAMENTO - In a shocking setback, my lottery numbers have suffered an overwhelming defeat. Analysts were at a loss to explain the outcome. Long-time lottery observer Rico Consalves observed, "Upon further analysis, what seemed like a sure thing was shown up to be in fact quite a longshot. The assumption was that after twelve years and losses in 100+ straight draws, these numbers were 'due'. Now we're having to rethink our thinking on that."

"This latest outrage just points up the limitations of the system," claims Dalton Stens-Keck, a prominent lottery reform advocate. "What's needed is a comprehensive, top-down review and reform of the entire bloated lottery bureaucracy."

When asked whether I would continue to play the same numbers, switch to a new set of numbers, go with the "Quick Pick" option or quit playing the lottery entirely, I had no comment.

Dissociative Press (11-06-08) 6:10AM PST

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