On Behalf Of Mad Science: A Plea For Sanity

Why is it that mad scientists are better at science than regular scientists? Just look at some of the preposterous things they are able to achieve! Things that ordinary science scoffs at. And yet - those mad scientists, they do it. They pull it off.

If normal science can't equal those kinds of spectacular results, then damn it for the good of the advancement of our species, normal science needs to bite its pride, swallow its tongue, and quit knocking down those in its midst who can! We need to put all of our mainstream scientists into some sort of sensitivity training program. We control their funding, right? Well then they need to toe our line on this one to some extent. We need the fruits of mad science, but preferably without the diabolical threat attached.

So send those tut-tutting humbug fuddy duddies to some scientific diversity appreciation classes! Teach them a little leeway and tolerance. And then the next time a mildly wild-eyed maverick stands forth grinning maniacally at the podium to announce his discovery of a new form of radiation which, if focused tightly into a beam, is capable of creating an extremely localized time-distortion field - instead of mocking the guy and booing him off the stage with catcalls and jeers (pretty unsciency behavior anyway if you ask me!), the whitecoated assemblage will listen, nod a bit, stand, politely applaud and give him a small show of gentle encouragement and glad-handing afterwards. Sure, he's probably a nut, and he can't do any of it. But maybe he's a nut and he can do all of it. Is it worth the risk?

He's already a little crazy, right? Don't push him! We can keep him on the good side of crazy. That's all these mad scientists want. Respect, acceptance, same as anybody. And if we give the poor addled genius just a token show up front, and he can actually do what he says - heck, he'll probably dedicate the resulting hot-ass tech to the good of all humankind, and donate the profits to some tangentially-related charity! These guys don't care about money.

If he pulls it off, we want him to fondly recall his moment of triumph and acceptance, as he unveiled his big find. He'll say - "I showed them all! And they recognized my worth. Now all humanity will share in its beneficial fruits."

As opposed to "They had genius before them and they SPAT UPON IT! I'll show them. I'll show the whole world!!"

I'm so sick of that sad denouement. And then they have to call me in. To thwart the sick, deluded megalomaniac. I swear, I am so sick of thwarting these poor guys.

So that's all I'm saying, Ordinary Science. Try a little tenderness, OK?