Hey, buddy? What's going on up there?
I heard there was some kind of constitutional crisis going on. Like, earlier this month, or something? Some deal where your Tony-Blair-figure had to put your whole Congress-equivalent in the penalty box, or something like that?
That's the picture I'm painstakingly piecing together at this point, anyhow. The details kind of passed me by at the time. Honestly, the entirety of the situation passed me by, what with the holidays so hectic and all! You know how it is. But today I've been trying to catch up on all the old news. Check in with the world, as it were; as it be, as it will be.
So anyway. I hope you're alright up there! You doing OK? Going to make it through? We sure don't want our polite and orderly northern neighbor (excuse me, "neighbour"!) to disintegrate into a fractured and fractious collapsed rabble of Province-States!
What a waste of embassies, to have to come up with new ones for every little Mini-Me Canada. And for some of those ambassadors, we'd have to find people who speak french! It's so hard to find humble civil servants who speak french. So many of them are effete assholes.
So hear me now! Here comes the U.S. Cavalry, Moral Support Division: hang in there! Hang in there O Canada Ol' buddy ol' pal! You can make it. We down here, the U.S. of F'n A, have got your back. We are eternally grateful for Bryan Adams. Plus for the way you stuck up for us via chain e-mail, after that whole bad situation back in '01. You've always been there for us, ever since we had to set cha straight on that whole old "Fifty-Four Forty or Fight!" donnybrook. Sometimes we'll each make a little fun of the other, but it's all in the spirit of genuine respect and fondness. Just like the beer ad used to say it: "We love you, man!"
But just in the case of the worst-case scenario, if y'all's do go all Civil War on us, take a hard-earned tip from a nation who knows: the winner gets to write the history books, that's true. But the loser gets to produce whatever the 22nd century's Canadian version of Lynyrd Skynyrd might turn out to sound like. So weigh that in the balance.
Man. It's been a while since I checked in with Mexico.
2 comments:
Thanks for the offer but we'll be ok.
Besides you have enough problems of your own going on down there. Really though, I appreciate the humour , er humor. It really made my day.
Oh and about the French. It's ok they'll do what there home country does everytime they see a conflict, run the other way
Besides that if it wasn't for you American's buying everything in site, how would I make my living online
Excellent! Glad to hear you're ok ol' buddy.
Man, those French. You said it.
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