It Is My Belief

It is my belief that those who begin sentences with "It is my belief..." (or an equivalent phrase) lack force of character, and exhibit cowardice of convictions! Do not say:

"It is my belief that women should wear tight clothes to entice the lustful stares of men."

NO! Omit the needless preface, eschew the softening and distancing of one's self from what one holds to be true! Say rather:

"Women should wear tight clothes to entice the lustful stares of men."

YES! Forceful! Definitive! And we take it as understood that it is your belief, because you said it! You need not interpose qualifiers between you and your belief. You need not stand back from your belief, as if ashamed to own what you yourself believe. Do not say:

"In my opinion, women make too much of sex, and should be more carefree about it."

NO! FOOL! WEAKLING! "In my opinion," at the front of a statement of your opinion, is simply and utterly redundant and insipid! You only betray the weakness of your jaw and the yellow tint of your spine by mewling so, as if to say, as if in apology: "well, this is only how I see it." If there is so little sinew in what you believe, please keep it under wraps until your strength recovers and you can speak more vigorously. Say rather:

"Women make too much of sex, and should be more carefree about it."

YES! QUITE! EXACTLY! Firm, and with decision. Now you have the hang of it! Does that not feel better, do you not feel a certain squared swagger about your shoulders, a certain prowling vigor in the loins? Finally you are expressing your self! Finally, you have ceased easing back weakly from yourself, letting fall half-offered excuses for your own dimly-limned utterances.

I will, however, observe that you are one objectionable specimen of sexist pig, and that, I cannot countenance. Good day to you, sir.