Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Feminist Deconstruction of E-Mail FWD Jokes #1: Older Women Are So Reasonable

FWD: Fwd: OLDER WOMEN ARE SO REASONABLE

AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, '44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GIRL".

NOW I HAVE A $3,500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS.'

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GIRL AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS!

A joke like this functions on several levels, which interact with each other in possibly surprising ways. The clearest message is the reinforcement of the man, as entirely responsible for the increase and accumulation of material wealth and the lifestyle of the couple. By comparison, the woman's contribution (her "side of things") has been to age, to deteriorate into a comparatively undesirable crone.

The sexual value of a hot 25-year-old girl is extolled. It is placed at first above material concerns, but after all is said and done the implication is that if the man's comfortable lifestyle had to be sacrificed in order to gain a fresh new hot 25-year-old girl, the trade-off would not be worth it after all.

We are meant to chuckle at the wife's response, as if it provides a reversal or corrective. A reassurance that there is in fact some semblance of balance to the power dynamic of this relationship. A closer look reveals that balance is a sham. The man's place as the sole source of real value in the relationship is never in doubt. What does the woman have to offer? Nothing but the threat of retaliation. If the man dares to forsake her used-up appeal for sex with a new hot youth, she will take him to the cleaners. That is the only power she possesses. Her not acting on that threat is the only value she holds.

Her threat aside, the man's main argument is left entirely unchallenged. It is presented to us as an entirely reasonable assessment of the situation, but one that can't be acted on, for fear of reprisal. All of the increased value in the relationship is due to him; the wife's "side of things" is reduced to a looming threat of consequence: you had better stay, or I will make you pay.

Ultimately, the wife is not to be valued but to be placated, so that the threat she represents is not realized - to the detriment of the man's material circumstances.

Not so funny is it?

3 comments:

Jamie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I had a good giggle at the joke, but you're right, the reality of it is not so funny. I myself find older men more appealing, but as a woman i am very aware that men do not view older women as being more attractive. It still amazes me that men can be so foolish as to up and leave their devoted wife of many years for a younger model, who is more than likely attracted to their material wealth. If they are so foolish then good on the wife for taking them to the cleaners...She at least deserves something out of the relationship.

dogimo said...

I agree with you both, certainly the heel deserves to get knocked down and the wife deserves recompense for being marginalized and then abandoned. But the real slap in the scenario is not the abandonment at the end, so much as the marginalization that has been going on the entire marriage!

Sadly, most of these louts who undervalue what they have and then cynically go in for the hot new model trade-in don't care that she's probably "in it for the money" - because they're in it for the sex, and to them attracting the hotter partner is probably just part of what money is for.

Very sad.

Then again, one could say "it's just a JOKE dude." "Lighten up."