I Was Aware Of My Sexual Orientation From A Very Early Age

I knew. I can remember knowing from an early age, I can probably figure out my age from the math of the grade I was in.

Let's see, I would have been 5 years old. I was a goner the second I saw, the second I clapped eyes on this little comet, blonde locks flying in her pink white-trimmed santa-esque coat as she ping-ponged about the grammar school recess asphalt patch like a pink rubber superball. Obviously I had no inkling as to the physical aspect! In those days, at that age, we didn't know much. But BOY did I know, though! Nobody had to tell me how it was going to work. How it was going to work was irrelevant. She and I were clearly a made-to-be match hewn straight from storybooks. I was quite decided on the fact.

What an insufferably presumptuous creep I would have seemed! Imagine if I had just walked up and introduced myself - all sanguine, sangfroid, nonchalant, as fait accompli as a boy can be, so sure and cocky the cocksure surety of my case! Luckily, I was intimidated a bit by the age difference. She'd turned 6 already, which when you have so few years under your belt seems a big deal. It was a number of years before I worked up the guts to make any sort of play (which was of course gently rebuffed - we were already sort of friends by then).

I still seem to go more for older women, though it's not an absolute thing.