I used to watch A TON of "Kung Fu Theater." Saturday afternoons, it was that or Godzilla flicks. As an aspiring global cosmopolite, I had to get my foreign cinema fix one way or the other!
It's very important for young people to be exposed to the arts and cultures of other nations. Young people are naturally thirsty for these sorts of experiences - and I was no exception! And in many ways, it was "Kung Fu Theater" that provided me my entrée into the world of sophistication and enrichment that is Import Cinema, or as I call it, the Theater of The Other. I for one am living testimony that if you get a taste of that good stuff early enough in life, that's an entrée you'll never send back!
Foreign films: some of them have subtleties, others are dubbed, but all showcase a unique point of view that typifies the rest of the world. For me and many others like me, "Kung Fu Theater" provided an opportunity to experience this particular point of view. And not only as a passive viewer! In many cases, there was an interactive, participatory-theater aspect, as the commercial break sounded the starting pistol to reenact various dramatic sequences just witnessed - whether together with the other kids, or alone, using the available furniture.
But as the years pile on, where now are the Kung Fu Classics of yesteryore? With the exception of a few immortal classics, I can't even remember most of the titles. And so I am reaching out to the global community of fans: can you help a brother out? Do any of these well-remembered scenarios or vignettes ring familiar? Can any of you tell me the titles of these films?
(there's no prize. It's not a contest! I don't even know the answers. I'm asking)
1. There's kind of a snide guy whose main remark seems to be along the lines of: "Your kung fu is impressive. But who is your master?" This is taken as a huge insult, and a big deathmatch breaks out!
Now I myself use that line, myself - but always in a context that makes it clear that I mean I am the master. Like "who's your daddy," except violently nonsexual. Whereas this guy in the movie - it might have a taunting aspect to it, but I think it's also a sincere question on some level. Or maybe: he killed the other guy's master, and the other guy's suspicious of that, and so this is a sort of a salt-in-the wound deal, to refer to his dead master. I'm a little foggy on the details. Which is kind of the point, I haven't seen this movie in forever.
2. The hero and heroine are about to go at it (not fight-style either - the other kind of "go at it") and the hero puts this red ball in his mouth that he's supposed to suck on (during) to increase, how you say, endurance, and everything's going along great for a while (you can't see anything! - a lot of bedsheets flapping around and bed-rocking going on) but then he messes up and accidentally SWALLOWS it, and he makes what I can only describe as a "Jackie Chan face" - though I'm pretty sure the actor's not Chan - and gets a mother of a tummyache. Playtime over.
I'm serious. This was a kung fu film. Saturday afternoon kiddie matinee material. Foreign films: often educational!
3. A fighter is repeatedly cornered and questioned throughout the film, by different characters who are trying to find out something he knows. I don't remember what secret he possesses that people are trying to find out, and it doesn't matter, because he never tells. It plays out the same way each time: the questioner asks one question too many (I think one is one too many) and the answer comes back: "You'll find out....when you ROT IN HELL!" Then he kills his interlocutor after a protracted battle scene.
It became a catch-phrase of ours, when closely questioned - but you had to be careful not to trot that one out if mom was in earshot. She didn't care for that sort of talk. And her kung fu was impressive.
4. All the characters say "But still!" a lot. Often with a dramatic pause, before or after (which quickly becomes a comedic pause, the more they keep saying it). And they keep saying it, even where it's not really necessary. "But still!" It goes on like that throughout the whole movie. Except during the fight sequences. "But still!"
You know what, I've got more, but that's it for now. Let's just start with these!
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