Doing the Dishes Pt. 3

So I'm doing the dishes, and I find myself doing dishes I have positively no recollection of eating off of. A sleep-eating disorder?

It would explain so many things:

1. Who ate the last of the waffles and pie?
2. That ketchup bottle was full!
3. My weight, in defiance of my fast metabolism, remains stable.
4. Crumbs on the pillow give my game away.

But it would leave these unexplained: 

1. How did the dishes end up stacked all neatly in the sink? That's not something I usually think to do even when I am awake.
2. Why are there always plenty of spoons clean, but short on knives and forks?
3. I have an assortment of brand-new saucepans and a dutch oven. Is it really necessary to scrub-a-dub these up prior to the inaugural use? They came well-boxed as a set, shouldn't they already be clean?

It's clear that no one theory is ever going to explain all the available facts.