Alcohol PSA

We all have to take the occasional headache, for the sake of being an ebullient contributor to the convivial atmosphere! Whenever we gather 'round a table with those we'd rather not, and the awkwardness of words yields to the awkwardness of pointed looks and finally to the awkwardness of averting one's eyes entirely, only one thing can come pouring into the cracks between us and fill them up to the tippling top! Only one soothing elixir serves as the fixative that sticks us each to each other as we douse the fuse of that ticking bomb of unpleasantness, put a balm on that sore topic and get everyone's minds on something else for God's sake. Something fucking pleasant for once! That one and only thing, the savior of many an evening, OUR FRIEND ALCOHOL. The Convivializer™!

Testimonial Girl #1: "When my friends and I had alcohol, that one guy that Charise always brings stopped being such a dick all the time and he was actually pretty funny! We had sex."

Testimonial Girl #2: "That was the best time we ever had at Choozy's! The band was awesome, and I can't believe Dani and Ash left together, she hates him!"

Testimonial Guy #1: "Alcohol made the difference for my evening out. I think I'm in love! I need to drink more often. It helps me let down my inhibitions, my standards and my friends!"

That's about all you and I need to hear, gentlemen and friends, ladies and lovers! Alcohol! It makes every night out seem better!