So I've got all these undershirts. A pack of crews, a pack of vees, and a pack of tanks. I bought them like, three weeks ago. They're still in the packages, like avant-consumerist throw pillows transparently depicting pristine undershirts done up in thick cellowrap. A tidy comment on something, probably something pretty shallow that reflects on us all.
What the hell am I going to do with all these undershirts? Why did I buy these? When am I ever going to get a chance to wear undershirts? I don't wear undershirts.
I guess I thought I needed them or something. To pass amongst the social elite. But what good would that even do me?
They're selling an image, that's what it is. And here I come: signing up like a sheep bleating for the saving crook of conformity, hooked by the neck, rounded up and directed by herd into the shearing bins to be shorn of whatever native dignity I'd managed to grow back since last time, and then fitted with a wifebeater.
Actually, a shorn sheep would probably look kind of awesome in one of those.
4 comments:
From a fashion and practical point of view, I think you should return most of these undershirts, except maybe for one pack of the crews or vees, depending on which you prefer. I prefer crews, because they can double as a t-shirt if you're feeling lazy. Actually, I prefer crews on men, I prefer vees for myself in this regard (and on effeminate-bodied men---nothing to knock the vee shirts or the burlier men who wear them! My dad was and did.)
I think an undershirt under a button-down looks nice. It's like wearing it over a t-shirt. But if you do that already, yeah, you don't need the undershirts. They just make nice layering pieces, are cheaper than most real t-shirts, and it means you don't have to wash/dry clean your button-downs (or, in the case of a girl, your wraps & the like also) as often. They do make some sense.
I don't know if they really call up images of conformity for me. Sometimes they can look classic, sometimes hoody, sometimes trashy, sometimes refreshing/crisp---lots of folks wear undershirts. And a lot don't. Either way could be conformist.
I do think they look nice and perform well as a shirt-shield, but I wouldn't force anyone to wear them, or expect them to wear them to impress my mother---although that would be a good move if one was wearing a button down when he met her and didn't want to be forever titled "the guy who wasn't wearing an undershirt." My friend who did regretted it, tried to repair the damage, and has since only moved up to "but it was a sleeveless undershirt!" I don't think he should really give a good gol' darn, though, because there's just no pleasing some people, and she is one of those. If it wasn't the undershirt, it would be something else wrong.
So what, pray tell, inspired you to buy all the undershirts if you don't wear them?
I think I'm effeminate-bodied enough to rock a vee.
~twisting full-length in the mirror, trying to look around and over ribs and hips and behind to the small of my back~
A lot of women have slim hips. Slim hips can be effeminate. I used to carry-bounce a lot of babies on these slim hips of mine and none of them seemed to mind.
Babies love me. I'm like, the master of baby-level surprises. When I'm around they're all like: what's going on? The world just got more fun!
As far as the undershirts, I'm not sure what possessed me.
(and excellent points on issues of conformism, as always!)
((did I say how great it is to have you back around again commenting, Blue? yes I did. Can I say it again??))
It is great!
♠
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