Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Saturday, August 15, 2009

BEEF! The New Chicken!

The beef you thought you knew is no more. That's the unexpected news. Now, here's the great news!

A completely harmless experimental strain of chicken DNA, introduced to a few test herds to increase shelf life, lean muscle-fiber count and egg-laying capacity, unexpectedly went viral and beneficially augmented the entire global population of cattle! Even science was surprised at the amazing and beneficial results! Such as!:

No more worrying about all this "rare," "medium rare," "medium," "medium well," "well," business! To minimize risk of salmonella, and/or dryness/toughness, all savvy beef-lovers everywhere order it medium every time.

ALL BEEF. Nothing but 100% PURE BEEF: Some white meat! Some dark meat. NO RED MEAT! And we've all been talking about how bad that red meat was. Well, we can forget all about that.

A whole new world of recipe options! Beef McNuggets, anyone?

Leather has feathers.

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