"I'm an excellent multi-tasker, which means that people constantly come to me to do their work for them."
"I believe in stepping up and being accountable, especially since these backstabbing bastards always blame me for everything anyway."
"My track record of producing outstanding results with minimum resources is attested by my years of outstanding production at a bullshit wage."
"I've made the effort to familiarize myself with the systems interface in five major departments of the company, so naturally any shit job that comes down the pike that everybody else pretends they don't know how to do, guess who gets handed it."
"I get along great with co-workers, especially that bitch Tina who reported me to HR as being possibly sexually harassive because I'd softly, absentmindedly, sung along to a couple borderline suggestive lines in an INXS song that was playing on HER RADIO."
"I am unfailingly diligent in implementing the dictates of my superiors, in fact, if they bend over I'll be happy to show them where they can stick their dictates."
"My attendance is exemplary. I'm there every soul sucking mother fucking god damn day."
"I believe in stepping up and being accountable, especially since these backstabbing bastards always blame me for everything anyway."
"My track record of producing outstanding results with minimum resources is attested by my years of outstanding production at a bullshit wage."
"I've made the effort to familiarize myself with the systems interface in five major departments of the company, so naturally any shit job that comes down the pike that everybody else pretends they don't know how to do, guess who gets handed it."
"I get along great with co-workers, especially that bitch Tina who reported me to HR as being possibly sexually harassive because I'd softly, absentmindedly, sung along to a couple borderline suggestive lines in an INXS song that was playing on HER RADIO."
"I am unfailingly diligent in implementing the dictates of my superiors, in fact, if they bend over I'll be happy to show them where they can stick their dictates."
"My attendance is exemplary. I'm there every soul sucking mother fucking god damn day."
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