Sunday Theology Post: the Second Coming

I used to have a theory that when Jesus returns, it will be as a ninja.

Because, they always kept saying that (as far as the second coming goes?) he would come "like a thief in the night." They stressed that point many times. A thief in the night. But they also said, he would come with a sword, and vengeance.

So I thought - something doesn't line up here. Here's what I think might have happened:

Prophet A: "Hey, bud, come here check out this vision I'm having."

Prophet B: "Hey man, that's a wild vision. Is that the Lord?"

Prophet A: "Clearly, it is the Lord."

Prophet B: "So he's coming back?"

Prophet A: "He is! Joyous news - but I need a little help describing what's going on here, in this vision. I'm not sure how to describe that."

Prophet B: "Well. Ok. Sure. Let's watch."

They watch the whole vision.

Prophet A: "OK. So, let's start from the start. He's dressed all in black."

Prophet B: "I didn't even see him at first!"

Prophet A: "Me either! It was a shock and a surprise when I did see him."

Prophet B: "Caught me unprepared."

Prophet A: "Clearly his coming will be stealthy."

Prophet B: "Like a 'thief in the night'!"

Prophet A: "Well, no, not really, I mean - that's not exactly the word for it. I wish we had a word in our culture for what we just saw! He crept in through the window..."

Prophet B: "Like a thief in the night!"

Prophet A: "...with a sword and with vengeance, and then - and then - "

Prophet B: "To be honest, I couldn't really take it all in. What were those sharp pieces of metal he kept throwing around?"

Prophet A: "Exactly! And that swinging roped-clubs arrangement - so fast! And he fought...dancing."

Prophet B: "It was like dancing. I don't know. I think we need to leave all of that out. That's not going to translate for people. Just go with 'like a thief in the night'!"

Prophet A: "Ahhh, you and your thief in the night."

But in the end, that was what they went with. They didn't have a better word.