Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Are You Front-Hearted or Back-Hearted?

As with the brain, each of us has one side of the heart that is dominant. Unlike the brain, the division is not left and right but rather, front and back. In most people there is a balance between the two sides, but one side is still dominant. In some people the dominance is very pronounced, with the influence from the other side being almost non-existent. Which side is dominant can affect the way we form attachments, the way we carry or let go of resentments, and how easily we trust.
Leading From The Front
A front-hearted individual puts the best face on things. Front-hearts go through life wide-open, with hope in their throats, not expecting the best to happen, necessarily - but always believing that it can happen, and that they can help make it happen by working hard and being the best person they can be. They believe strongly in love, but they don't have a detailed or definite concept of how love has to be. For a front-hearted lover, the person is what is most important - and they may believe that there is a particular "right person" (or "soulmate") out there for them. A front-hearted person lets go of grudges easily, but may have trouble with lasting attachments. In love, a front-hearted person will plunge in enthusiastically expecting the best, and tends to minimize any negative aspects, especially in the early going. A front-hearted person is essentially trusting, but can become suspicious if they believe they aren't getting the whole story. While their attitude towards life and love is essentially an optimistic and positive one, paradoxically, once they do find a secure and stable relationship they are often plagued by worries - not over any actual negative aspects of the relationship, but rather over hypothetical small or large things that could possibly go wrong.
The View From The Back
A back-hearted individual is slow to form attachments, and forms lasting opinions of others, good or bad. A back-heart's trust is not easily won - it is not that they are mistrustful, but that they only truly trust who they truly know. The back-hearted person has a very strong idea of what love is, and claims not to be willing to settle for less. They are more likely to feel pessimistic about their chances of finding love, but when they do find someone with whom they can finally share their heart, they are fiercely devoted and loyal. Their inflexible ideal of love becomes much less important to them once they find actual love - but if the relationship fails, they often return to it with self-recrimination and a renewed rigid emphasis. The back-hearted lover is forgiving towards the one who has won their trust and heart, and is not troubled by many doubts. Trust is the firm foundation of their love. They are steady and dependable, tending to keep things in perspective and not exaggerate the importance of minor problems. But if their trust is betrayed, it will be a crushing blow that the back-heart will find difficult or impossible to forgive. Where a reconciliation is attempted, it is often discovered that the whole character of the relationship is changed - the back-hearter seizing on every little thing, full of accusation and suspicion now that the trust is gone.
Are You Front-Hearted or Back-Hearted?
As stated above, most people have a mix or a balance between the two sides, front and back. You may see aspects of yourself in each of the above profiles, but one side is usually dominant.

Front-hearters tend to be the ones who keep coming back for more - either giving a failed relationship chance after chance, or simply pursuing new relationship after new relationship with high hopes. Whereas, most of those people who have given up on love are back-hearters whose trust has taken one too many beatings.

Unless one lucks out and finds lasting love the first time, one is going to need a certain amount of front-heartedness to stick it out, to keep trying, to find the right one. But arguably, once one does find the right person, it is going to take at least some deep-seated back-heartedness to settle into love as deeply and strongly as one can.

As with most things, it is healthy to have a balance - but it is also wise to know where one's basic tendency lies. Neither dominant side is better, but by knowing yours, you can better manage the negative aspects, and encourage the positives.
I Just Made All That Shit Up
It's not my fault. I am back-brained.


Sweet Spectre said...

Hahaha well, according to your diagnosis, I am definitely back hearted.

dogimo said...

You are? Yeah, I guess I can see that. Perhaps naturally back-hearted, but projecting a front-hearted openness and positivity through force of will?

I think I manage to combine the most self-destructive aspects of both, but it usually works out great for others.

Which is what I secretly wanted all along. My ulterior sneak purpose.

Anonymous said...

Sounds plausible to me. Just because you made this shit up, doesn’t mean it’s not true. I mean, Einstein came up with that whole theory of relativity whatnot, and most people agree that’s factual. So, I reckon you could be onto something :-)

Somewhat related … I was driving along recently listening to Naff FM when they were doing a One-Hour-of-Power-Chocka-Block-of-80s-Rock session (or whatever they call it), and I realised that a whole generation of people’s concept of love may have been influenced by epic 80s ballads. Very militant and aggressive.

Exhibit A: Pat Benator. Love is a Battlefield, Hit Me With Your Best Shot, etc etc

Exhibit B: Scandal - "The Warrior.

“Shooting at the walls of heartache
Bang, bang
I am the warrior
Well I am the warrior
And heart to heart you'll win
If you survive the warrior”

I ask you, has there ever been a flash of brilliance more brilliant then adding “bang, bang” to this chorus?

Probably not.

Mel ...

dogimo said...

I thought it was "we can get through all the heartache, baby"! I guess my ears wouldn't let the violence in.

But of course you are quite right, Mel! Just because someone makes something up, or is kidding, doesn't mean it isn't true. Unless a person is talking purely about their feelings, the truth of what they say is independent of what they believe about it. Truth deceives the mouths of fools, who only think they're telling lies. That's why I say: take whatever anyone says for what it's worth, not for how they meant it.

This blog is a prime example. I can never tell half the time what anything is supposed to mean. But then later I'll be like...whoa! NICE! That's a universal truth right there!