Hey there, reader. See any work here you like? Any particular posts that you think are particularly well-crafted? Well, that just means you have a discerning eye! Let's work something out. What I do for me, I can do for you.
I'm setting up this post, here, to give you an opportunity like you've never had before. Pitch me a proposal for a little work-for-hire. How can my expertise best be put to work for you? You tell me!
Simply put: simply put in a comment, giving me a topic you'd like me to write a post on (NO TOPICS REQUIRING RESEARCH). I'll write the post for you. For the first time, as an introductory offer I'll magnanimously waive your obligation to buy - if you don't like it, well OK, suits you. I'll post it right here instead. We'll just call off the whole deal, and no hard feelings. Only kindly refrain from submitting any further "commissions" though, if that's how you follow through on your end. I don't do spec work!
Sheesh.
But, if as seems surpassingly more likely, you like what you see - well, okay then! TWENTY DOLLARS A WORD (profanities thrown in free-of-charge of course), and I will sell it to you, for your own use on your own blog. You can then post it there, with no attribution to me - just as if you wrote it yourself! I won't even blow the whistle! In fact, I'll probably post a very sincere and complimentary comment on that post, pointing out some of the finer points and subtleties which you can then thank me for.*
This is an offer you won't get elsewhere.
A couple of quick notes. Don't even ask, because I'm not interested in selling any of the posts you already see on here. Not even at a higher rate! Those are finished posts, they were done by me for me. I am interested in something you can pitch me, to be done by me for you. I'm not interested in hocking my stock of fine grape wreaths and olive branches just to burnish someone else's insufficiently gaudy laurels. Forget it!
Exception: I might be interested in selling you the entire blog. As a one-shot transaction, clean and easy and we both walk away satisfied. It would have to be one of those deals where the price is exorbitant, plus I essentially retain all rights for later use, too. Because I put a lot of ideas in here! No one else would have a right to develop my own ideas. That's asinine. That's not how it works. You'd only be buying the text itself, of all the posts (plus the sidebar poll, I'll throw that in), and what you'd be buying is the right for me to keep using it as I see fit, while you in theory and on paper "own it." I don't know, we could work out some sort of shared-custody arrangement. Just of the existing posts, mind you! I'm not letting you post new posts on here, that is right the hell out of the question. No way no how no thanks brown cow. This is my name and my work, here, at stake.
You know what, this is getting way more complicated than it needs to be, ok? All this crap...let's just stick to the original proposal, for now. That was nice and simple.
Leave me a comment.
Pitch me a topic.
And we'll see what we can work out.
I'm setting up this post, here, to give you an opportunity like you've never had before. Pitch me a proposal for a little work-for-hire. How can my expertise best be put to work for you? You tell me!
Simply put: simply put in a comment, giving me a topic you'd like me to write a post on (NO TOPICS REQUIRING RESEARCH). I'll write the post for you. For the first time, as an introductory offer I'll magnanimously waive your obligation to buy - if you don't like it, well OK, suits you. I'll post it right here instead. We'll just call off the whole deal, and no hard feelings. Only kindly refrain from submitting any further "commissions" though, if that's how you follow through on your end. I don't do spec work!
Sheesh.
But, if as seems surpassingly more likely, you like what you see - well, okay then! TWENTY DOLLARS A WORD (profanities thrown in free-of-charge of course), and I will sell it to you, for your own use on your own blog. You can then post it there, with no attribution to me - just as if you wrote it yourself! I won't even blow the whistle! In fact, I'll probably post a very sincere and complimentary comment on that post, pointing out some of the finer points and subtleties which you can then thank me for.*
This is an offer you won't get elsewhere.
A couple of quick notes. Don't even ask, because I'm not interested in selling any of the posts you already see on here. Not even at a higher rate! Those are finished posts, they were done by me for me. I am interested in something you can pitch me, to be done by me for you. I'm not interested in hocking my stock of fine grape wreaths and olive branches just to burnish someone else's insufficiently gaudy laurels. Forget it!
Exception: I might be interested in selling you the entire blog. As a one-shot transaction, clean and easy and we both walk away satisfied. It would have to be one of those deals where the price is exorbitant, plus I essentially retain all rights for later use, too. Because I put a lot of ideas in here! No one else would have a right to develop my own ideas. That's asinine. That's not how it works. You'd only be buying the text itself, of all the posts (plus the sidebar poll, I'll throw that in), and what you'd be buying is the right for me to keep using it as I see fit, while you in theory and on paper "own it." I don't know, we could work out some sort of shared-custody arrangement. Just of the existing posts, mind you! I'm not letting you post new posts on here, that is right the hell out of the question. No way no how no thanks brown cow. This is my name and my work, here, at stake.
You know what, this is getting way more complicated than it needs to be, ok? All this crap...let's just stick to the original proposal, for now. That was nice and simple.
Leave me a comment.
Pitch me a topic.
And we'll see what we can work out.
Comments
Um. Not to be indelicate, but did you see the part where it says in all caps, TWENTY DOLLARS A WORD?
I'm not saying we can't reach some accommodation. I'm negotiable.
As for the fee, gotcha - we're understood! I suspected as much. I think that fat fee might be part of the reason no one else has bit on this.
Consider my ass commissioned!
(this is actually about EMMA, a movie with somebody in it, but originally a BOOK with EVERYBODY IN TOWN in it):
Actually, that's too much attribution. I'll dock it in the poetry blog for anyone's perusal.