I go through life, my whole life is basically lived as a constant attempt to create a diversion. And I am incredibly good at it. I am gifted. I create perfect diversions, left and right, using a myriad and a half of techniques which I myself have developed and perfected. I was given this gift for a reason. For some reason, I was given this gift, for some vast and crafty purpose that I'm sure will reveal itself eventually because...honestly, it's been no good to me so far! Or to anyone else. Which is terribly frustrating.
The problem is that as much of a maestro as I am at creating diversions, my social and leadership skills are abysmal. I have absolutely no knack for attracting accomplices, or forming conspiracies. So all my beautiful diversions go for naught. Utterly worthless diversions. Purposeless diversions.
I'll level with you, it's making me doubt what life is all about, at this point.
But the good thing is, the upside of the situation: if I'm in the middle of creating a diversion and I slip up, and I get caught (which NEVER happens, but hypothetically) - since nothing's really going on, they can't fucking touch me!
Which is pretty calming, pretty reassuring.
Hey, what on earth is that THING over there?