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Sunday, October 18, 2009

A Nice Turkey Sandwich: Always a Special Occasion

A turkey sandwich for me is always a special occasion, because how boring. Normally, I don't bother. So it takes something special to get me to want one of those.

Ordinarily, you see, I'm a ham sandwich man. And so is everyone else, as far as I'm concerned, unless they are either a) stupid; b) ham-abstemious for religious reasons such as kosher, halāl, or vegan; or c) not a man. There's no other legitimate excuse: when it comes to sandwiches, ham is the meat most amenable to helping those two bread slices and the other assorted fillings and condiments reach the fulfillment of the form's artistic and culinary possibilities.

However, part of that may be a matter of preference on my part.

Also, for the purposes of the above remarks, indeed, for the purpose of any remarks I may ever have made: a burger is considered to be its own entirely separate (and in terms of potential, superior) category, which is distinguished from the sandwich proper.

Given how I see it, though, through a ham-colored lens, it's easy to get that I'd hardly choose a turkey sandwich, were it not for something special! Some out-of-the-ordinary inspiration, and here it is:

Beaverton Cranberry-Mustard

I was browsing the aisles of Johnnie's Super when this curious condiment caught my ever-inquisitive eye. My immediate and almost violent reaction: "WOW! If that's anywhere as good as the phrase 'Cranberry Mustard' would seem to claim, then it falls to me to prove it upon a turkey sandwich of my own creation!" Those were my exact words! Thought, though. Not spoken aloud. Please: I am not a loo-loo.

So I brought home the groceries and then went out and about my day. All day long, I began thinking about that sandwich. And when I got home, I made it as follows, from top to bottom (I always try to describe a sandwich by the layers, since what's next to what makes a deal of difference):
  • the top half of a toasted Beckmann's sweet deli roll (mayo on)
  • 2 fat-sliced tomato sections (tomato ALWAYS goes next to the mayo!)
  • 2 slices of cheese (specifically: horseradish white cheddar)
  • one Polish dill pickle spear laid lengthwise (optional)
  • between 4-10 slices of HAM (depending on how big a slob you are!)
  • red onion (IMPORTANT)
  • the other half of the toasted Beckmann's sweet deli roll (with plenty of cranberry mustard on).
Hey, I'm just kidding about the ham. That's turkey in there! That was the whole point.

Delicious.

11 comments:

Unknown said...

Mmmm. You know what. I'd like to let you make me that sandwich!

dogimo said...

I would be delighted, Anna!

But I do not think it'd mail well. In fact, it was so big and sumptuous, the last few bites were falling apart in my hands! You know when you have to rush to finish it off while it's still technically a sandwich?

Usually when that happens, it's the bread's fault - not this time, though. This was a good substantial roll - Beckmann's does not play. The error was mine: I was simply not paying attention. It seems I let the insides slide a bit backwards with every bite, and then when I was getting to the end, there was about - a thumb's worth of bread left for 3 bite's worth of sandwich!

Man, it was good. It's got me reappraising the boring charge against turkey. Maybe after a lifetime of emphasizing pig, I just need to take the time to identify and develop the necessary tom-bird skills.

dogimo said...

EDIT: I forgot the pickle! I did indeed put a pickle in mine, so I've added that in where it goes. I marked it "optional", even though I think it was pretty important to the sandwich. But I understand how some people might not like to put a big ol' pickle spear right in the middle of their sandwich!

Whereas other people, if there's no pickle spear in there, they'll take the one from the plate and stick it in. A neat trick from me to you.

(okay, technically, I got that trick from an ex-girlfriend. I was aghast the first time I saw her do it. Aghast that I hadn't thought of it myself!!)

JMH said...

A pickle spear on a sandwich, for me, would excessively regionalize deliciousness. It's a concentration of wealth. It hasn't enough surface area, enough middle class. I eat from least to most delicious. I would be disappointed until reaching the pickle. Maybe with one of those pickle slices I could save the pickle pinnacle for last.

In my world, the pickle spear is to be eaten along with the meal, but the last bite of the pickle spear should be the last bite of the meal. I'm Polish, though. We also view Jello as fruit.

dogimo said...

You'll note I specified Polish spears! Your ethnic heritage is deep-steeped in high-class pickling skills, pardner.

Hm, though. I see what you're saying, but could this could be simply an angle-of-attack problem? It sounds like you're eating in from the sides.

To the extent that there's a discernible x over y disparity to the bread dimensions, I construct and eat every sandwich lengthwise. Here, the length of the bread was just right for plenty of pickle in every bite.

As always, I was very choosy with my bread selection. And I have a big mouth.

I admit, I'm with you on the pickle to the side, as an accompaniment. But that's not a mutually-exclusive setup! I had a side-spear along with my well-pickled sammy.

Lunarchick said...

Not only do I want THAT sandwich I now must hunt down my very own bottle of Cranberry Mustard. I am not sure I can make it through the week without it.

The ass-backwards grocery store I go to will certainly not have it so this is going to be quite a challenge. I already checked into ordering a bottle online and it looks like the only route is to go with a case. Considering that I NEED this stuff now I might have to go for it.

Lunarchick said...

Success! Any other readers who are desperately looking for the place to order a single bottle I found it www.farawayfoods.com.

The shipping is probably as much as the bottle..but hey desperate times, desperate measures.

dogimo said...

Wow that took you all of 2 minutes! :-D

dogimo said...

You know, Alice, I'm not sure I can super-duper vouch for that as a versatile condiment. The whole sandwich came together beautifully, and that was right in there as an important element, but I don't know what else it would be good for?

Lunarchick said...

Yeah I am fast. I am a googling expert. I fly. I am in my element. Scorching like white lightening through the interweb.

It is cool if the stuff only works on turkey sandwiches because I am a girl and I like turkey sandwiches.

Just got back from the local grocery store and as predicted they did NOT have it on the shelf. Gonna have to order it.

dogimo said...

I too am an expert googler!

I feel like I've gone on about that at length but now I can't find it. So you'll have to take my word! I can google the impossible and come up with hits aplenty.