The "Damned If You Do" vs. "Damned If You Don't" dichotomy is often presented as if it were some sort of insoluble dilemma. But really, it isn't at all. You just have to decide what your priority is, in a given case:
Choose "Damned If You Do" if the pleasure of experiencing the doing is preferred.
Choose "Damned If You Don't" if the pleasure of being able to bitch about being unjustly punished is preferred.
Admittedly, that's still a hard choice for a lot of people - but the choice is between goods, not evils. Devil's food or not, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
Or maybe you can, in a given situation. But you'd still be damned for doing so.