As I've observed many a time before, I'm pretty much a lesbian in a man's body. I mean, I am all man! But I have a certain femininity of the soul, so to speak. Buried deep within my machismo is a sleek inner lesbian, and she knows what she wants: hot, female babes. I mean, she's not a pig about it! But there it is.
Like many lesbians, the idea of having sex with a dude pretty much turns me off. And I don't see anything wrong with that. Let's face it: dudes are hairy. They also have (and sometimes are) dicks. I don't want one of those things pawing and poking at me - gross.
To tell the truth, I'm not really sure how all the straight girls cope with the whole lovin'-on-dudes aspect. I don't see the attraction there. There are only like, 3 dudes* where I'd even entertain the idea, and note when I say "entertain" I don't mean cocktails and hors d'oeuvres followed by seven sumptuous courses and a string quartet. No, this "entertain" would be more like, here's a glass of tap water and a half pack of of saltines, and thanks for the interesting conversation but GET OUT. Because it ain't that kind of party.
That's not an insult to anybody who may be offended.
I mean, straight women...let's face it, I have to thank my stars or whatever that for what ever reason, it works for them. Since since I was born as a man (okay, a baby, but eventually a man), I'd be pretty much out of luck otherwise. And neither is it a case of homophobia, or even...maybe it would be technically heterophobia at that point? Either way, I ain't a phobe of nothing. It takes more than some questionable sexuality angle to phobe me out. Anybody comes around trying to phobe me will find out the hard way - NO DICE. And furthermore, not only "no dice," but just for trying to phobe me, I will knock you on your ASS for that. I am not the slightest bit phobed about any aspect of that transaction. You can't go around trying to phobe people up and expect no consequence!
Anyway. Sexuality seems to be this big complicated thing for people, but I don't get why, exactly.
Like many lesbians, the idea of having sex with a dude pretty much turns me off. And I don't see anything wrong with that. Let's face it: dudes are hairy. They also have (and sometimes are) dicks. I don't want one of those things pawing and poking at me - gross.
To tell the truth, I'm not really sure how all the straight girls cope with the whole lovin'-on-dudes aspect. I don't see the attraction there. There are only like, 3 dudes* where I'd even entertain the idea, and note when I say "entertain" I don't mean cocktails and hors d'oeuvres followed by seven sumptuous courses and a string quartet. No, this "entertain" would be more like, here's a glass of tap water and a half pack of of saltines, and thanks for the interesting conversation but GET OUT. Because it ain't that kind of party.
That's not an insult to anybody who may be offended.
I mean, straight women...let's face it, I have to thank my stars or whatever that for what ever reason, it works for them. Since since I was born as a man (okay, a baby, but eventually a man), I'd be pretty much out of luck otherwise. And neither is it a case of homophobia, or even...maybe it would be technically heterophobia at that point? Either way, I ain't a phobe of nothing. It takes more than some questionable sexuality angle to phobe me out. Anybody comes around trying to phobe me will find out the hard way - NO DICE. And furthermore, not only "no dice," but just for trying to phobe me, I will knock you on your ASS for that. I am not the slightest bit phobed about any aspect of that transaction. You can't go around trying to phobe people up and expect no consequence!
Anyway. Sexuality seems to be this big complicated thing for people, but I don't get why, exactly.
Comments
"Speak for yourself!"
or maybe
"I think the category you describe overlaps multiple orientations within the feminine gender without fully encompassing any given orientation."
or maybe
"I've been trying to clean it up around hear lately, could you go with 'wee wee shaped toys'?"
or maybe
"Luckily I was born with one."
But since I can't decide what to say, I'll just go with my old standby:
"You SAID it!"