God, I know you and me got that understanding going on, to where I never blame you for anything. Exculpated from actions of others on the free will plea, absolved of "acts of God" on the grounds that nature and physics must operate according to impartial, observable, measurable and predictable laws, if we as a species are ever to grow the hell up - into what we can be.
On the whole, the whole arrangement works out great. I'd far rather be a man than a little baby blaming you for everything you never directed my way in the first place. You've got what I admire: omnipotence, yes, but tempered by restraint.
You haven't gone all psycho with control, like we would if given the power. And some - no doubt power-jealous, bitter based on how they think they'd have chosen to wield it - some choose to blame you for what you merely permit. If pressed, they will acknowledge that you didn't direct it, but they still blame you for allowing things to happen. When you "could have stopped it."
Well you know I've always said, far more than for your omnipotence (which after all, you pretty much started out with and can't claim much credit for), you deserve praise for your restraint. Your restraint, which is something you do choose. You deserve praise for all that you choose to permit, good and bad. You have chosen a restraint that is nearly as infinite as your power, and it is only this restraint on your part that makes life liveable at all for us. Makes it possible for our lives to have purpose. We humans, being free beings, are as you must have known (especially after that shit with the angels) very intractable, and would not have cared to live pressed under any omnipotent heel! No matter how "merciful" or benevolent. Oh, we'd take it. For a certain length of time, we'd take it, sure - what choice would we have? But eventually, we'd send Captain Kirk after you, and that's when shit gets real.
So the point I'm saying is: I back you to the hilt on this reality biz. You made the right call. It's nice to be able to live in reality. Reality is a far better world than the micromanaged padded-fantasy playpen certain fools seem to want you to impose on us, as a living environment. I say: good job on reality, God. You've set it up exactly how I would have done. Exactly.
But understanding all that doesn't help me today.
And I'm sorry to say it, but I need someone bigger than me to get angry at right now.
I put all my eggs in one basket, I know. That was my fault. But they were such perfect eggs, the basket was indestructable I thought - and I was so careful with it! And now I have nothing left. I have...the key ingredients for a very large eggshell frittata.
Could it be okay if I blame you, this once? Can I pretend you did this to me? Could I consider what's just happened a deliberate test? Something you chose to inflict upon me? Can I make myself that important, and you that capriciously cruel?
Everyone else seems to go that route. I don't see how it helps them. So I don't see how it's going to help me, either, but I'm willing to give it try because I have to try something. This was too much. Just...malicious. Didn't see it coming, wouldn't have thought it possible. Catastrophe. Out of nowhere. Heaven-sent?
What the hell, God.
Damn. It's no use. I don't believe it for a second. Fortunately or unfortunately.