Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Sunday, November 22, 2009

An In-Depth Treatise on the Structure and Composition of the United Kingdom

England is always trying to act all "Britain" and shit. Why can't they just be like, "England" instead? Who else do they think is buying into this, are there self-respecting Welsh and Scots going around, looking down, hand-behind-neck to the ethnicity question responding, "I'm, ah, British." Well hell no. They call it like they are, not this supposedly inclusive envelope of the next highest organizational level upwards. That's like an alien comes down and asks a dog, "what kind of animal are you" and the dog goes "vertebrate!"

The alien wouldn't be surprised at all, because he wouldn't know dogs can't talk. But why should the dog put him on like that, with such a deliberately vagued-up answer? And before you take me to task on the "he" for the alien - this particular species of alien is all male. No females whatsoever. So it wasn't an ignorant, sexist assumption on my part! Rather, the ignorant assumption would be on the part of whoever went ahead and accused, before they even knew the first damn thing about this alien and HIS species and culture.

Meanwhile, Ireland's all off to the side. And rightfully so! There's no doubt they're Irish. Right on, Ireland! Leading the way, as usual. To the side.

Now if only England had the stones to follow that lead in their own direction, own up to what they rightfully are, and stop squeaming around with the euphemisms. Come on, John Bull. It's a slippery slope you're on, better call a spade a spade while you still can or generations hence, your descendants will be all "we're Europeans."

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