A little about me.

Those of you who know me know, I'm not the brash, invincible sexual conquistador of language that I come off as, just from perusing this blog. Nor am I the pedantic pedagogue who goes to town on a really elaborate ad absurdist tangent based on some really obvious bonehead misinterpretation of an esoteric point of science, politics, or philosophy. Nor am I the crass, win-at-all-costs predacious businessman with a chip on his shoulder the size of the world, and a large list of tips that it would behoove you to take. Or even the mister big braggadocio crowing about how great his songs are, or how many poems he's churning out (I just find the idea of some cocky s.o.b. bragging about poems to be delightfully absurd! because, who brags about poems? It's probably a holdover pose from my emcee days). Nor am I...Nor am I...ah, but you get the idea. On this blog, I like to jackass around in the guise of a wide assortment of really transparently idiotic characters.

But, I so rarely dig into the most idiotic character of all!

Yes, those of you who have read a while know I don't often talk about myself. Not really. Sure, I like to let glimpses show through my whimsy and my creative verve. And in the comments, that's just me in there. No characters going on there - I fun around where fun's being had, but I also do my level best to give straight and decent answers in comments, wherever a commenter has a question or issue to discuss sincerely.

The reason I don't really talk about myself much is, well, who cares? I mean, seriously. That's not my interest. This blog isn't to lay me bare, or to talk about the literal and actual physical dimensions of my penis (apart from that one time) - I don't really like to get all personal! There's nothing in it for me. I'm a very private kind of guy, that's where I live in my comfort zone. This blog is for another purpose. It's to cut loose, blow off a bit of steam, and find different ways to have fun doing it. Fun with words, concepts, stances, ideas; try on different things and explore where they lead. Fun with things wilder than I am. Let the id off the leash! Or would it be, the ego? I can never quite get all those divisions straight. I think part of the problem is my superego thinks Freud's theories are a load of horse shit.

Anyway. So I thought for once I'd go out on a limb, and I'd just kind of put a few things out there, actually about me. Me actually me. Here goes.

Look. I have to tell you. I don't seriously consider myself goofy. Not in the damn slightest. That's not my self-image, and not how I choose to put myself across. But I guess I have a pretty good filter in place I can lock in, to take a step back and say "let's be objective." And when I click that mode into place, it's possible that I have to admit I could be a looked at in a pretty goofy way. As an arguably goofy individual. As compared to others. Objectively, as it were. So I've come to terms with the fact that if somebody wants to say I'm goofy, or weird, then FUCK THEM.

Excuse me! Sorry, what I meant is, if somebody wants to say I'm goofy or weird, well I don't agree particularly, but I can take it, and I can see why maybe they might have come to that arguably misguided, arguably incorrect view. So there's that.

Let's see. What else about me. Okay, here's something I could tell you: I suck at flirting. I've tried a few times in my life to flirt. It's awful. But it's okay, it's compensated for. Because I luck out in a certain way, just from my natural personality! What happens is, people, a lot of time, even in real life, when they first get to know me seem to think I could be flirting with them. And I'm not even trying! Dudes, mostly. No I'm kidding. Both. I think it's because I'm pretty direct, and I'm pretty quick to like somebody if they're not a total dick, and I'm not shy about giving feedback and - to be honest, a lot of what I tend to notice is the positive in people. People pick me up, all day. They just lift me. And I'm not shy pointing out a point or two of what they do, in appreciation of that. And I have no idea why, but practically nobody else ever seems to bother to do that. I don't get it.

Anyway, the upshot of all that being - some people seem to get the idea that I could possibly be flirting with them. Later as they get to know me, they just realize I'm abnormally positive. Positive in my interactions with others, possibly due to the experimental rose filter they used on the laser when I got my RK done. Now I'd call how I am just gregarious, or vivacious, or, to steal a fake adjective from an ex, gregacious. Or just plain outgoing! There's no reason to make up words when the right one's right there. But however I see it, sometimes people getting to know me get an impression that I'm a just kind of a real flirtatious dude.

Which - I'm cool with that! I have no problem at all with it - why would I? Shoot. Misconceptions are usually quite easily cleared up, and people pretty quickly find their sea legs dealing with me. So I don't mind the way I come off. I won't apologize for the things about me that I actually like. My me has served me quite well, over the years. Thinking back in fact, I think all but one (or now, two) of my girlfriends in life asked me out, when I had no idea they were even interested. Despite they thought they were broadcasting pretty clear!

I just thought they were being friendly.

So anyway, if this post works out, maybe I'll work in the me in little more often. Or as seems more likely: as needed. Sometimes I think the rather large variety of jackassery in the posts occasionally makes people wonder, where exactly do I stand with this guy? I don't want people thinking I'm some kind of karma chameleon just due to the expanse of tangents and viewpoints taken on in the posts themselves.