My Culinary Skills: A Very Choosy Retrospective

Whether by innate gift or having simply lucked out, I have certainly had some pretty impressive triumphs in the kitchen over the years, and yes, I do mean non-sexual ones. Get your mind where it belongs!

How about those pretty intense Meatloaf Burgers back in the nineties, when I was living in Margate? Baked-on ketchup glaze! Side of whipped fluffy mashed potatoes with home-heated beef gravy? "Perfect!" we all declared.

Or that roast chicken with the amazing mixed whipped root-tuber concoction? I believe it was one turnip, two smallish white potatoes, and a decent-sized beet, all roasted and then mashed into a smooth, red-golden concupiscence of hot deliciousness. But here's the really amazing part: the chicken stood up to it. I did the right thing by that chicken!

Or that time I mashed two sets of leftovers together and passed it off as "hungarian skillet."

All told, a pretty meaningful and varied career. And, I hasten to add: "so far...!"

Comments

Sean Scully said…
I prefer to think of all of my "triumphs in the kitchen" as sexual, even if they do not directly involve the insertion of my body parts into someone else's body parts. I mean, I fuck the shit out of a chicken once in a while, by which I mean I put butter under the skin and sew a lemon in the cavity then roast at 325 for 95 minutes. Is that so wrong?
dogimo said…
I put a strip of bacon under there. The chicken skin.

You got to put something under there, if you want it to stand up to your mixed-root mash!